Chiquitita
by Anakerie
Summary: Dee and Ryo become parents to a pair of abused young brothers, and life is never the same. I claim no ownership of FAKE.
1. Default Chapter

Chiquitita  
  
"Honey, are you okay?"  
  
Distracted, Cal glanced across the table and Ryo and faked a smile. "Fine. Everything's great." She took a bite for emphasis.  
  
"Spill it." Dee glanced up from his own plate, swallowing a mouthful of pasta whole. "You've barely said a word all evening."  
  
The young woman bit her lip, a sure sign that something was wrong. But like Bikky, she didn't wear her heart on her sleeve, prefering to handle her problems privately.  
  
"A new case?" Ryo prompted gently. "Tough one?"  
  
Cal nodded. "Really bad this time." She sighed. "Sometimes I don't know if I'm cut out to handle this job."  
  
"How old is the kid?" Dee asked.  
  
"Two of them. Five and four." She laid down her fork. "Sure you want to hear this when you're eating?"  
  
"We are cops." Dee was amused. "I think we can handle it."  
  
Cal leaned back in the chair and shut her eyes. "Miguel and Fernando Rodriguez. Their parents were killed a car wreck last year. They were sent to live with their maternal grandmother. They've been with her about six months." She paused for a breath. "Four days ago an exterminator went into their apartment. The grandmother wasn't home, just the boys. They were both covered, and I do mean covered, in cigarette burns. The recent ones hadn't started to heal yet. There were some that looked like they'd been there for a lot longer."  
  
"Jesus Christ." Dee whispered.  
  
"The exterminator immediately called us. They're both in the hospital now being treated." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep from crying. "Neither of them speak very much English, but we can't get Miguel to say a word in any language. Fernando is a little chatterbox, though. He says that his grandmother burned them for being too loud. If they said a word, she covered their mouths and put her cigarette on their skin. The people in the apartment below always had the stereo on loud. No one ever heard them scream."  
  
Ryo had his own head bent forward now. "Those poor babies."  
  
"What's going to happen to them?" Dee asked, put his hand on Cal's.  
  
"That's a problem." The young woman shrugged helplessly. "Our options are pretty limited. We were able to locate a cousin who said she'd take Fernando, but the child psychologist says it would destroy them to be separated. Fernando may be younger, but he's extremely protective of Miguel and Miguel clings to him. Even if this is New York, foster parents still only seem to want healthy white kids, preferably babies."  
  
She glanced at her watch. "Speaking of them, I'm on my way to the hospital now to see them. I promised Fernando I'd bring him McDonalds." She finally smiled for real. "He's one of the brightest kids his age I think I've ever met. When I think about how someone. his own grandmother." She trailed off.  
  
She studied the men for a moment, her eyes unreadable. "Do you want to come along and meet them?"  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"I swear." The nurse was rolling her eyes and clicking her tongue. "I am going to tape that child to his bed."  
  
Cal knew the woman was joking, but the comment bothered her anyway. She put on her best professional look. "He's probably anxious to be released. I've brought some things to keep him busy." She added "For six months now he hasn't been allowed to play at all. I think we can make some allowances."  
  
The nurse nodded. "He goes into other rooms, talks to other patients. He told Mr. Trael he was a doctor and that Mr. Trael was going to have a baby! But they all love him. They just don't have to go chasing him down."  
  
Dee burst out laughing. "Where's Mr. Trael's room? We should send a card."  
  
Another nurse came panting up. "He's out again. He slipped out while I was giving Miguel his medicine. That way." She pointed down the long hall. "Took the rails off his bed. I told them it wouldn't keep him in."  
  
Cal was trying hard not to laugh, and Dee was still doubled over. Ryo was trying to look serious, and failing as much as Cal was. "Come on. He can't be far."  
  
They moved down the hall, looking rooms, but no one had seen the child. One elderly woman knew him though, and tried to give them candy to take to him. "My grandkids brought it. I can't eat it. The baby will like it."  
  
"He doesn't need more sugar!" The nurse muttered, but Cal accepted the candy anyway and put it in the McDonald's bag.  
  
Back out in the hall, something caught Dee's eye and he looked down.  
  
Under a laundry cart, two very dark brown eyes were peeking out, under a fall of almost black hair.  
  
Dee dropped to his knees. "Hi there."  
  
The boy grinned at him.  
  
"Fernando?" Dee asked. Remembering what Cal had said, he asked the boy in Spanish "Are you Fernando?" It wasn't needed. The boy's arms and legs were covered in small bandages, and Dee felt a surge of pure anger.  
  
The boy shook his head no, and pointed to a towel around his neck that the man hadn't noticed before.  
  
"Ahhh." Dee nodded, noticing he had a big audience by this time. "Are you Batman?" He was still speaking in Spanish.  
  
"No."  
  
"Superman."  
  
"No."  
  
"I give up." Dee held up his hands. "You've stumped me."  
  
"Nandoman!" The boy crawled out from under the cart and put his hands on his hips in a superhero pose. His hospital gown was too big for him, and the superhero's bare bottom was sticking out. He tried to take off again but Cal stopped him by holding out the McDonald's bag.  
  
Nando grabbed for the bag, but Cal held it back. "Back to your room, Nandoman. You can eat there."  
  
Nando took Dee's hand in his own as they went back down the hall, chattering. "Superheros have to eat lots of McDonalds or they can't fly." He explained. "They fall off buildings and land on taxis. SPLAT!" He pounded a little fist into his palm.  
  
Dee had been fluent in Spanish by the time he was six, but Ryo's grasp of the language was mostly from high school and college classes. Still he knew enough to understand the little boy and he was enchanted by him.  
  
"My brother can fly too." Nando was saying as they neared his room. "He flies around all the time. I say "Miguel, you're going to hit the wall" and he does. I don't laugh though." He added. "What's your name?" He looked up at Dee.  
  
"I'm Dee. This is Ryo." He pointed to the other man.  
  
"Are you superheroes too?" Nando wanted to know.  
  
"No. We're police officers. Detectives." Ryo explained.  
  
"They're superheroes to me." Cal put in. "They fight crime, Nando, just Superman does."  
  
"Wow." Nando's jaw was open. "Real superheroes." Without warning he threw his arms around Dee's waist and hugged him. He let him go and hurried into the room. "Miguel!" He called over to the occupied bed. "Miguel, wake up. I've got Mcdonalds! And Superheroes! Dee and Ryo fly around like Superman."  
  
The other boy said up in the bed, and Dee felt a small jolt at the resemblence to Nando. They looked like indentical twins, down to their home- done hair-cuts.  
  
But unlike Nando, who's eyes were full of life and mischief, Miguel gave them an emotionless glance, and then turned his attention back to his brother.  
  
"Here." Nando was handing Miguel a burger as Cal put down the tray in front of the older boy and helped him sit up straighter. He neither resisted or helped. Once he was settled Nando climbed up on the bed with him and began devouring the food. Miguel ate his own share in silence as Nando continued to talk, this time a story about flying into birds once.  
  
"He's got quite an imagination." Ryo whispered to Cal.  
  
"I know." Cal grinned. "He's a superhero today. Yesterday he was a frog prince. He'll probably be an alien tomorrow."  
  
"What about Miguel?" Dee asked, watching the other boy with a heavy heart.  
  
"They hope. they hope that with enough therapy Miguel can heal. But they're not sure. They said maybe he's so damaged he'll never be okay. It's not just speaking. He hasn't shown any emotion at all."  
  
"Come on, it's only been a few days." Dee protested. "And he's been stuck in this hospital with this ugly wallpaper. Once he gets into a home, he'll be flying into birds too."  
  
"If we can find him one." Cal replied, rubbing her hands on her jeans. "They're being released tomorrow. For now we can keep them at the center, but if we can't find placement together, we'll have to split them up and let Fernando's cousin take him. And if that happens." Her eyes rested on Miguel, who was watching Nando make french fries battleships crash into each other.  
  
Finishing the war, Nando climbed out of the bed again and walked over to Dee. "Can I see your gun?"  
  
"I'm not wearing it right now." Dee apologized. "And even if I was, I can only take it out when bad guys are around."  
  
Nando looked disappointed but understanding. "I only take my gun out for bad guys too. It's invisible, so you can't see it." He pointed to his hip.  
  
Dee knelt on the floor again. "We're a family of superheroes you know."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really. Ryo and I stop bad guys. We have a son who's going to school now to learn to fight bad guys too. And your friend Cal is a superheroine. She goes around and rescues little boys and girls from people who hurt them."  
  
"You didn't tell me!" Nando gave Cal an indignant look.  
  
"Sorry, slipped my mind." The woman chuckled.  
  
Ryo sat down next to Dee. "You know, you can't have too many heroes in a family though." He said thoughtfully.  
  
"Never too many." Dee agreed, glancing at his partner, and seeing complete understanding. Some things didn't need to be discussed or agreed upon outloud.  
  
"Would you and Miguel like to come stay at our headquarters?" Dee asked.  
  
"Do you have a Batcave?"  
  
"No. Batcaves stand out. We have an apartment, and it looks so normal no one suspects at all that it's really a top-secret base."  
  
"Do you have a dog?"  
  
"Sorry, no dogs."  
  
"Good. Miguel sneezes around dogs. Achoo. Achoo. He sneezes at cats too. I don't think he sneezes at horses though." He added. "So we can have a pet horse. Or a hippo. I don't think hippos make Miguel sneeze."  
  
Dee was unable to stop the image from popping into his head of a large hippo lumbering around their apartment and knocking things over. It replaced the mental image already there of McDonalds-deprived crime- fighters crash-landing on bright yellow cabs.  
  
"Miguel is pretty lucky to have a brother like you looking out for him." Ryo looked back at the other boy, who was listening intently to their conversation.  
  
Nando motioned for Ryo to lean closer and whispered into his ear. "Miguel can't fly any more. So I have to hold his hand."  
  
"Maybe we can teach him to fly again." Ryo offered.  
  
"My Mama flies with angels." Nando went on, not whispering now. "Someday, I'm going to fly up and say 'Hi, Mama! It's Nando!' but I can't fly that high yet. My Papa, he'll be so happy when he sees how good I fly. But Miguel must fly too, so he can be with us." The boy said firmly. "Yes, I'll show him how again."  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "You set them up."  
  
Cal reclined on her bed, the phone receiver against her ear, grinning although no one could see. "Prove it."  
  
"You knew they'd take one look at those kids and want them."  
  
"I did not go there for anything but dinner. If an idea happened to come to me at the end of dinner."  
  
"You're sneaky." A long silence. "Did I ever tell you that's one of the things I love about you?"  
  
"I'm flattered. I think this will be good for everyone. The boys will have a home, and Ryo and Dee will have someone to take care of again. Dee's starting to get a beer gut. Nando can help run it off of him."  
  
"Cal, I just don't know." He sounded serious. "I mean, it sounds like the younger one is okay, just hyper. But the older ones has some pretty heavy- duty damage going on from what you've said."  
  
"Sweetheart, if they raised you they can raise anyone. You know, you got lucky."  
  
He'd heard this before from her but listened anyway. "Do you know how hard it is to place older kids? Especially biracial older kids with a juvenile record? You would have ended up in a juvenile detention center if Ryo hadn't taken you in."  
  
"I know. You never let me forget it. But I was just one kid. I'm worried they're biting off more than they can chew here, that's all."  
  
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy on them. But there's no one else I'd trust with these kids. How's class going?"  
  
"Not bad. I'm loving it."  
  
She heard a voice in the background call out "HI BIK'S GIRLFRIEND!"  
  
"Tell Gunther I said hi back." She laughed  
  
There was the sound of a scuffle. "HE'S MEAN TO ME, CAL!" Gunther yelled into the phone. "Get OFF me!" Bikky was saying. "Give me that phone back! Cal, are you still there?"  
  
"I'm here. I'll let you go play with your friend." She said in the kind of voice she'd use with a toddler.  
  
"Thank God I don't have to put up with him much. ouch! Longer! I can't believe they haven't thrown him out yet! Look, I've got to run. Our pizza is here. Love you."  
  
"You too." 


	2. Part 2

Dee's POV:  
  
In New York City, what little green there is dies every winter. Out behind the orphanage was this little bitty patch of dirt that Penguin had planted flowers in. The kind that bloom on their own every year. Perennials? I think that's what they're called.  
  
Anyway, at about the end of February I'd start staring at that patch of frozen dirt, looking for those first signs of the flowers coming back up. A little piece of green. It was my tradition. You had to look hard to see that first green, and it didn't always last. One more good frost and it was gone and you'd have to wait longer.  
  
We'd had Flotsam and Jetsam for about two weeks when it happened.  
  
We'd talked off and on over the years about taking in another child. I always thought that I'd be the last person to miss having a kid around the house after what Bikky went out of his way to put me through. But after he was gone, the silence was deafening.  
  
There were reasons that we kept putting it off. We told ourselves we were too old to go through it again, that it wouldn't be fair to a child with the long hours we both worked. That the kid might resent the fact that his parents were both men. We even decided that Bikky might get jealous and feel like he was being replaced.  
  
But in that hospital room, listening to Fernando, and seeing that blank look in Miguel's eyes, knowing that at the age of five this child had already given up on life, my resolve just crumbled away. I couldn't stop myself from loving them any more than I could stop myself from loving the brat.  
  
We went all out on those boys when we took them home from the hospital. Got them as many toys and clothes as we could afford, and a bunk bed. Since Miguel wouldn't tell us what he liked Nando did it for him, so of course Miguel just happened to have the exact same taste as his brother. I kept watching him, waiting for him to say or do something to show he had a mind of his own, but nothing. Not a peep, not a look of happiness or displeasure or anything. The only thing he seemed to care about was being where he could see Fernando.  
  
Twice a week we were to take them in for counseling. I don't put a whole lot of stock into head-shrinking, but Cal said we had to and I guessed it couldn't hurt. It kind of surprised me when the shrink seemed to think that Nando was just as messed up as Miguel in his own way. She said he was in denial about what had happened, refused to talk about it at all. Well duh. I wouldn't want to talk about it either. Of course Ryo thought she was wonderful so I didn't ever say what I really thought.  
  
The first thing we had to do though was put higher locks on the front door so that Nando wouldn't slip out to go visit the neighbors. The kid was nuts about meeting new people. He'd go up to strangers at the store and ask if they knew Superman. Ryo and I didn't like this. I mean, it's New York. A lot of people here think they ARE Superman and we sure didn't want some crackpot jumping off a building with our kid. So we gave Nando the Strangers lecture, and did role-playing, and he told us he understood. So the next time we were out, the first thing he did was ask a little old lady her name. "But she WASN'T a stranger any more." He argued with us. "Her name is Muriel."  
  
As long as Nando was with us, Miguel was with us, but if Nando took off, Miguel would be following along right behind and we'd have to chase them both down.  
  
We could have saved on the bunk bed. Nando slept right next to Miguel on the bottom bunk, refusing to budge. He said he had to keep the monsters away from his brother. And damned if I didn't go back to my own room and start bawling after that. At the time though, I wasn't aware of the full significance of what he was saying. I wouldn't learn about the monster until later.  
  
The shrink had given us a list of activities to try. The one thing I agreed with her on was that Nando and Miguel had to learn to be apart. In the fall, Miguel was supposed to be starting kindergarten and Nando wasn't going to be with him all day long now. Of course that hinged a lot on how much progress Miguel made from now till then, but it was our game plan to have him in a regular class. Nandoless.  
  
So one Saturday, when both Ryo and I were off of work (we had a Spanish- speaking babysitter for the other times, a young woman Nando was already in love with) we decided to give it a try.  
  
Ryo woke up Nando early with a sure-fire bribe, breakfast at McDonalds. He was reluctant to leave his brother, who was still asleep, but Ryo explained that they were going to bring Miguel back a surprise present, and if he was there when they bought it, then it wouldn't be a surprise. Nando still didn't look too convinced, but he agreed finally.  
  
In the short time we'd had him, Nando had seeped into the apartment and it felt cold and empty without him. I don't want it to sound like I didn't love Miguel. I did. I was crazy about him. But I didn't KNOW Miguel, not like I did Nando. I wanted to, but I didn't. Not his favorite color or favorite food or favorite show. Nothing. He was a complete mystery to me. I checked in and he was still asleep. It was so frustrating sometimes. I wanted to let him know that he was safe now, that over my dead body would anyone ever hurt him. Even at our most tense moments, Bikky always knew that I loved him, that when it came down to it, I had his back. What would it take for me to convince Miguel of the same thing?  
  
I went out into the living room and turned on the TV to Saturday morning cartoons. Yes, I still watch them. Not a crime. Of course they were better back in the 80's. This stuff was crap compared to the fine quality of Thundaar the Barbarian.  
  
I looked around for the remote when a commercial came on, and jumped. Miguel was standing next to the couch, staring at me. I hadn't even heard him come in.  
  
"Hey buddy. You want some breakfast?"  
  
He didn't even blink.  
  
"How about TV? Something you want to watch on television?"  
  
Those black eyes never left mine. There weren't a lot of physical differences between the boys, but if you looked close, you'd notice a few here and there. Nando's eyes were a few shades short of black, but Miguel's were as dark as Ryo's. He was wearing blue pajamas, and I noticed they were already a little tighter on him than when we bought them. Both kids had been slightly underweight when they were rescued from their grandmother's apartment. Ryo assumed it was his cooking that was fattening them up. Cal said it was probably the cookies and candy I slipped them on the side.  
  
"You'll rot out their teeth!" My partner complained.  
  
"They only have baby teeth anyway. What better time to do it?"  
  
I offered Miguel a cookie now, but for once he didn't accept.  
  
"Okay, no breakfast. No TV." I clicked off the cartoons. "I'm stumped, kiddo."  
  
He slowly turned his head toward the front door, and then looked back at me again.  
  
"Nando went out with Ryo. He'll be back real soon."  
  
And for the first time, I saw something in his face change. A flicker of emotion in his eyes as they got a little narrower. He gave the door a harder look, and then back at me. He repeated it several times.  
  
"Come on, man. You're a big boy. Nando is your little brother, remember? You'll be okay a little while without him."  
  
Without warning, he reached out and grabbed the end table, flipping it over onto the floor. Out of luck the lamp and light bulb both didn't break.  
  
My heart was racing, not in anger, but in excitement. He was upset. Upset was good in this case, it was something. It was better than nothing.  
  
"What good will that do?" I asked, picking up the table and righting the lamp. "It's not going to make Nando come home any sooner."  
  
I was speaking mostly Spanish, with some English thrown in here and there. Both kids had been bilingual before their parents were killed. Fernando was quickly remembering his other language, and I figured Miguel being older must be as well. But I wanted to make sure they didn't forget their Spanish either. It was trickier than I had expected.  
  
Miguel was watching me wide-eyed now, and he slowly began to rub a burn on his arm.  
  
"I'm not going to hurt you, Miguel." I sat down on the floor with a sigh. "No matter what you do, no matter how mad you get or I get, I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. Neither is Ryo. You can ask Bikky when you meet him. He grew up here. We never hurt him, either. And he was a very, very bad boy."  
  
I could have sworn I saw curiosity on Miguel's face now so I continued. "He took things that didn't belong to him. He used bad words. He called me bad words, right to my face. At school he got into fights and hit people sometimes."  
  
Miguel took a step toward me and sat down on the floor facing me.  
  
"Oh yeah, he was a real brat. Drove me up the wall. But we loved him anyway. And he turned out okay in the end. A lot better than I expected him to." I said honestly. "Do you want to see a picture of him?"  
  
I got up and grabbed a photo album from the book shelf and sat back down. "Look. That's Ryo when he was a baby. Look how fat he was."  
  
Miguel cocked his head, examining the photo. "And that's me when I was your age. I couldn't believe Penguin.that's the nun who took care of me, still had these pictures. Look, I've got a black eye. I was in a fight before that was taken, I guess."  
  
I turned a few pages. "There's Bikky and Ryo right after he came to live here. He was ten." I wasn't sure I should have shown Miguel that one. Bikky was flipping off the camera behind Ryo's back. Ryo hated that picture, but every time he took it out of the album I replaced it. I had several spare copies.  
  
"This is all of us a few years later. Me and Ryo and Bikky, and look at that. Do you know who that is? That's Cal, that nice lady that brings you and Nando presents."  
  
He reached out for the album and I put it on his lap. He turned another few pages to Bikky at his graduation and paused. He touched the picture and kept his finger on it, turning back to the older pictures, and pointed at the brat when he was younger, looking at me for confirmation.  
  
"Yeah, that's still him. He's all grown up now though. He's coming back to visit us next week, after he gets sprung from Quantico. He really wants to meet you."  
  
Something appeared to be bothering him, and he was staring at the empty pages in the album thoughtfully, and then gave me a searching look.  
  
"Miguel, I can't read your mind, buddy. What's wrong?"  
  
He paused, and then pointed at himself, and then at the empty page.  
  
"Are you asking why there's no pictures of you and Nando in there yet?"  
  
Then, like the perennials, I got my shoot of green.  
  
Miguel nodded.  
  
"We took some, remember? We took a lot last week. We just don't have them developed yet. But we can do that today, if you want. You can help me pick out good ones for the album." I was trying so hard not to grab him and hug him as hard as I could. He wanted to be in the family album. He knew we were his family now. It was the kind of breakthrough the shrink had thought might be months down the road.  
  
"Someday." I said softly. "Someday, when you're okay again, you know what we're going to do?"  
  
He shook his head no.  
  
"We're going to go to Disney World. I've always wanted to go there, but Bikky said he'd burn it down if we ever tried to take him. But Ryo and I were talking last night. We'll all go. You and me and Ryo and Nando. We'll ride all the rides and eat a ton of cotton candy, and meet Mickey Mouse, who I think is one cool rodent." I reached out and put my hand over his and he didn't protest. "I know it's hard now, but some day.someday those bad memories won't hurt as much. We're going to give you new ones, better ones. I promise."  
  
His hand turned under mine and for just a second, I felt his small fingers squeeze my own. Then the front door opened and Ryo and Nando entered the apartment. Miguel jerked away from me and ran across the room, grabbing Nando's hand tightly.  
  
"Hi Miguel! Look what we got you!" Nando was pulling a box of crayons out of a plastic bag. "They smell like fruit! But Ryo says they don't taste like fruit so you can't eat them. And Ryo bought me a CD and it has my song on it." He dragged Miguel back down toward their bedroom, never even pausing for breath.  
  
Ryo and I looked at each other and burst out at the same time "We need to talk." 


	3. Part 3

Ryo's POV:  
  
I think maybe part of the reason I kept putting off taking in another child was that I didn't think it would be fair to Dee.  
  
For the two years he pursued me, and for the next six until Bikky graduated and went to college, it was always three of us. I loved it. I loved having a real family again, and I know that Dee loved it too in spite of his complaints, but between our jobs and raising a very troubled kid, I didn't have as much time to dedicate to my partner as I would have liked. He had to share me, and he bore that with a grudging good grace that would have surprised everyone. After all, it had been my choice to raise Bikky, not his. His love for Bikky and his efforts to be a good father never failed to touch my heart.  
  
With Bikky gone, I had been able to finally make Dee the soul recipient of my attention, and I spoiled him. When we weren't working, our time was entirely our own. And as much as we both missed our son, we were enjoying the freedom. Another child would mean Dee playing second-fiddle again.  
  
Life can, at any given time, jerk away everything you have ever known and loved. But it can also turn around and drop an amazing gift right in your lap. In the forms of the Rodriguez brothers, we had two.  
  
But as Nando and I drove to McDonald's that morning, I couldn't help but worry.  
  
I had had a private talk with the boys' counselor the other day, and I hadn't yet told Dee about it. He didn't like her anyway and he would have gone through the roof.  
  
"Ryo, there isn't any doubt in my mind how much you and Dee love these boys. But I'm growing more and more concerned for Miguel's mental state."  
  
"It's only been a few weeks."  
  
"I understand that. But imagine you step on a rusty nail. It's not going to heal up on it's own no matter how much time you give it. It's going to continue to fester until you're in danger of losing your whole foot. Do you understand what I'm saying?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"My initial feeling was that Miguel should have been placed in a special facility, somewhere trained in dealing with very young emotionally disturbed children. I changed my mind after consulting with some of my colleagues. They felt that Miguel might never heal if he's taken away from his brother."  
  
"They're right too." I was beginning to see why Dee had a problem with her.  
  
"We also have to look at what's best for Fernando. He needs to live his own life, not always taking care of Miguel. Putting Miguel into a treatment program might be the best thing for both of them. It wouldn't be for good. I'm sure that it wouldn't be more than a few months."  
  
"Right now, I'm sorry, but I think a stable family is the best thing for him. I know you're the doctor, but people wanted to take my first child away from me too for his own good. We toughed it out though and he turned out just fine."  
  
"I'm going to run another battery of tests on Miguel in three months. If he's not showing any signs of progress by then, I'm sorry, but I'll have no choice but to recommend to the courts that he be removed to a treatment center."  
  
Was she right, I wondered, as we stopped at red light? We were doing our best with Miguel, but was it going to be enough? I sighed, and then noticed Nando had grown quiet.  
  
"Are you okay?" I asked.  
  
"Just thinking." He said with a frown, and held out his hand.  
  
"You should give me a penny for my thoughts now." He instructed.  
  
Laughing, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a handful of change. "Here's a quarter. Your thoughts are worth more than a penny."  
  
"I missed my Mama last night." He put the quarter in his pocket. "I had a dream she was singing to me, but she wasn't really there."  
  
I parked the car in the lot and put my arm around him. "My mother used to sing to me too before she died."  
  
"My Papa couldn't sing. But he said Mama and Miguel sang just like birds. I don't sing so good."  
  
"Miguel liked to sing?" I was intrigued.  
  
"Yes. He sang all the time until." He stopped. "I had a special song. Mama said she named me cause of the song. Miguel knew how to sing it to me too."  
  
"What was the song?"  
  
"It had my name. Someone was playing drums."  
  
"'Do you hear the drums, Fernando?'" I sang out quietly, and he clapped his hands.  
  
"How about after we eat we go buy you your song? Then you can listen to it as much as you want?"  
  
His eyes shown. "Miguel sang it to me when I got hurt, but then he stopped."  
  
"Do you want to talk about that?" I asked him. "About when you got hurt?"  
  
He shook his head no quickly. "But it was a very big monster. He hurt me bad and I cried. Miguel sang to me. Then the next day, he came back, and he hurt Miguel too. Miguel doesn't sing now."  
  
Something about his story was bothering me, outside of the obvious. "So Miguel didn't talk any more after the monster burned him."  
  
He looked at me in surprise. "The monster didn't burn us. That was Grandmama, because we were loud. We were bad, so she let the monster have us. She said so. She said if we made noise again, the monster would hear us and come back. So Miguel, he's scared to make noise." He shrugged. "I said to him 'Miguel, you can make noise now. The monster doesn't know where we live. He can't find us. And now we live with superheroes. You would punch any monster in the nose, right?"  
  
I was trying to digest all of this revelation. "You and Miguel are very safe with Dee and I. No monsters can get to you. Can you tell me how the monster hurt you or what he looked like?"  
  
"No." He was staring at his hands. "I don't remember." He gave me a pleading look that shattered my heart.  
  
"It's okay." I undid the buckles on his safety seat and pulled him into my lap. "When you want to talk about it, I'll listen. The monsters are gone now."  
  
He hugged me, snuggling close.  
  
Somewhere out there was some else who had victimized my boys. What exactly they had done I didn't know for sure, but I intended to find out. As I held Nando, I made a silent vow to stop the monsters from hurting anyone else.  
  
We ate outside in the play area, then Nando ran off to play on the slides. There were two little girls there about his own age, and I watched them scream in fake terror as they hurled the plastic balls from the pit at each other. Both girls tackled Nando at once and buried him completely in the pit as he called for help.  
  
Finally, the girls left with their parents and bored, Nando came back to the table to finish off the last of my hashbrowns. The girls, he informed me, were really undercover Princesses, working for the President to find secret information for the war.  
  
"The war, huh? Who are we at war with?"  
  
He leaned very close and whispered in my ear "France. But Dee is kicking butt."  
  
I groaned softly to myself. The other night he'd been transfixed watching Dee play Civilization on the computer. Dee's main rival had just happened to be France. "He's too young to understand." He had waved away my concerns. "He just likes to watch the video clips."  
  
Right.  
  
I felt a small sense of relief that Dee had no interest in Grand Theft Auto. I could just imagine Nando happily telling someone that his new daddy liked to run people over with stolen cars.  
  
We went to the toy store next after Nando reminded me the purpose of the trip was to get a surprise for his brother. It took him close to half an hour to pick out scented crayons, but he was confident Miguel would like them. "I have to get my other brother something too." He said as we turned to leave. "My biggest brother. Does he like crayons?"  
  
"Well, he used to really like spray paint." I admitted. "He likes music better now, though. We'll buy him something when we go get your song."  
  
No doubt the sales clerk at Waves thought I had multiple personality disorder when I handed her the four CDS we had decided on. Vivaldi for me, Cinderella for Dee (his obsession with 80's hair bands was one of those little flaws you learn to overlook in a loved one) the Best of Abba, and Happy Dagger, a group who specialized in obscenity-ridden death-metal tributes to the Shakespeare's plays. I figured Bikky would love it.  
  
We opened the Abba CD in the car and played it on the way home. Nando really didn't have much of a singing voice, but neither did I. By the time we reached the apartment we were both giggling like crazy, having effectively butched "Fernando", "I Think I Love You", "Dancing Queen", and "Take A Chance on Me." I had to blush at that one, remembering when Dee had called a radio station and had that song dedicated to me.  
  
Back in the apartment, I could hear the Abba CD playing from the boys' room as Dee and I exchanged information about our mornings. The progress he had made with Miguel I found nothing short of miraculous. Likewise, he was disturbed the Nando's story of the monster.  
  
"So Miguel clammed up because of that, because of the other person who hurt him, not because of the cigarette burns."  
  
"That's what Nando says. I mean, he's four and half the time he thinks he can fly. You have to be careful what you believe, but I believe him on this."  
  
"They examined them for sexual abuse at the hospital, did the doll test." Dee rubbed his chin. "But with boys, you know how it is. It's not like with girls, where you can tell for certain usually." We both knew that boys were abused, while not as frequently as girls, a lot more often that most people believed. Not only was it harder to find physical evidence on a boy, though, but boys were less inclined to speak up about it.  
  
Of course in the case of Miguel and Fernando, we couldn't be sure that anything like that had happened. The 'monster' may have only beaten them, and I winced at how that sounded. Only a beating.  
  
Dee put his arms around me and I laid my head on his shoulder, trailing my fingers up and down his chest. Having the children here had left is less time for each other, but neither of us regretted it. Our home felt complete again. Still.  
  
"How about we ask Cal to babysit tonight at her place?" I asked. "She offered when I talked to her yesterday. We could go out to dinner, pick up a movie. Just have a night for us."  
  
"Yeah?" He kissed the top of my head. "Sounds interesting. What else do you have planned?"  
  
Suddenly the apartment walls began to shake.  
  
"#@$#* YOU MOTHER! YOU #$##* the #@(#$# WHO KILLED MY FATHER! I WANT TO DRINK HIS BLOOD AND CRUSH HIS BONES! GOD I FEEL SO ALL ALONE!"  
  
We both jumped a mile high.  
  
"That is NOT Abba!" Dee decided to state the obvious.  
  
"I think it's supposed to be Hamlet." I offered lamely, hurrying down the hall to the boys' room. "CD I bought for Bikky."  
  
The little boys were staring at the CD player, their dark eyes enormous, as I switched off the music. "That was supposed to be for Bikky." I scolded Nando.  
  
"I had to see if he'd like it." Nando protested. "Does he like bad words?"  
  
Miguel glanced at Dee, then back at Nando, and nodded, sliding off the bed and leaving the room. A few minutes later he returned with the photo album. Dee was grinning, giving me a "told you so" look at my amazement. He opened the album and pointed to a picture.  
  
"Dee, I thought I told you to take that one out of there!"  
  
"Why? It's cute." Dee argued. "I think it shows the true essence of Bikky."  
  
Nando extended his middle finger to Dee.  
  
"HEY!"  
  
"What does it mean?" Nando was curious.  
  
"It's a very bad thing to do." I closed the book. "We don't do that in this house."  
  
Nando giggled and made the gesture to Miguel.  
  
"Enough." I looked him in the eye. "It's like saying a bad word. We don't say bad words, either."  
  
"But Dee said it was cute." Nando reminded me, and I glared at Dee, who looked away with a cough.  
  
"Okay Dee, you started this. Why don't you explain your double standard to Nando?" I folded my arms.  
  
"Ummm." He was at a total loss for words. "How was McDonalds?"  
  
"Great. Why can't I do it if Bikky can?"  
  
"Help." Dee said in a small voice. "Come on, I have no idea what to say to him. You're better at this than I am."  
  
"Because we said so." I announced firmly. "We're your parents. We don't have to have a reason."  
  
"Mama used to say that." Nando grumbled.  
  
Miguel had already opened the crayons and there were several drawings on the bed, mostly scribblings, but one was stick figures in a row. Two little ones, and two bigger ones. At the mention of his mother, he picked up one of the drawings and held it out to me.  
  
"Miguel, is that your Mama and Papa?" I asked.  
  
"Yes." Nando answered for him. He pointed to a red smear on top of one the figures's heads. "Mama wore a red scarf. See?"  
  
Miguel carefully took the drawing back and pulled up one of the plastic sheets in the photo album, slipping the picture inside and smoothing the plastic down over it.  
  
"That looks really good there." Dee whispered. "It looks perfect. Do you want us to go get the other pictures developed, like I promised?"  
  
He nodded, and then for just a second, he smiled. 


	4. Part 4

Ryo's POV:  
  
When Cal showed up that night to take the boys, Nando insisted on showing her the additions to the album. We had hoped to show her the, to us, amazing progress Miguel had made today, but at first he stubbornly refused to cooperate, standing like a statue as we helped him into his jacket and shoes.  
  
"It's just for the night." I kept assuring him. Nando of course viewed the whole thing as a grand adventure, but I didn't want Miguel to think we were deserting him. "You're going to have a good time with Cal and then come back here tomorrow morning."  
  
We had a pile of pictures on the table that we hadn't been able to fit in the album, and suddenly he walked over and grabbed one. I heard Cal make a sound of surprise. It was a photo of Dee and I. He was holding Nando on his lap and Miguel was sitting between us. Very carefully, he slid it into his jacket pocket.  
  
"Yeah, you keep that." Dee smiled at him. "But you won't need it to remember us by. I promise you are coming back."  
  
Nando squeezed us both and was already at the front door attempting to go through the wood to escape. We hugged Miguel, who didn't respond, and watched Cal hustle them out the door with a promise to have them in bed by 8:30. We could hear Nando arguing about that before the door shut.  
  
Dee wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me up against him, one hand rubbing the small of my back. It felt so good I was nearly purring, and his other hand tangled itself in my hair, tilting my head back as his mouth closed over mine.  
  
The phone rang.  
  
"That's Bikky." Dee growled softly. "I'd bet you my life savings. Let the machine get it." He knew I wouldn't do that, and I broke away to answer.  
  
Sure enough, it was Bikky, wanting our opinion about a final class assignment, an analysis of a 30-year-old kidnapping. Did the FBI follow proper procedures, and if not, was that the reason the victim had lost her life?  
  
"I think that it's all pretty subjective." I tried to push Dee's hand off of my kneecap, and he leered at me. "It's hard to say."  
  
"It's hard?" Dee mouthed. "Let me see." His hand moved higher and I squirmed. I covered the mouthpiece of the phone. "I'm trying to help him." I scolded.  
  
"I'm trying to help both of us." He whispered back. "I have something I need to investigate."  
  
"I heard that." Bikky said dryly. "Why don't I call back tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, why don't you?" Dee called into the phone. "Happy to help then. Busy right now. Something's come up. Bye!" He grabbed the receiver and slammed it down.  
  
"That wasn't nice!" I grumbled. "We want him to do well, you know. Otherwise he's going to move back in and we'll be supporting him until he's 60."  
  
Dee, looking stricken, grabbed the phone back. I wrestled it away from him and we both collapsed laughing.  
  
"I really love you." He breathed against my neck. "You know that?"  
  
"Love you too."  
  
If the phone rang again that night, neither of us heard it.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
On the sofa bed in Cal's tiny apartment, the boys were awake, listening to the sounds of the building settling down for the night, and the traffic outside.  
  
Three times, unknown to Cal, Nando had gotten up to make sure the front door was locked. He liked Cal, but he didn't feel as safe here as he did with Dee and Ryo. He had seen their guns. They kept them locked up and he'd been told that must never, ever, ever touch them. Cal didn't have gun; he'd asked her. She didn't like guns, but added that she didn't need one. She could do enough damage with just her bare hands, and that she felt sorry for anyone who messed with her.  
  
The evening had been good. They'd eaten a lot of pizza and watched Tarzan. Not the cartoon kind he watched with Dee, but a movie with real people and real animals. Even hippos. He had been having so much fun he hadn't had a chance to get homesick, but it was hitting him now hard.  
  
What if the monster knew they were here? What if he came here to find them? Nando moved closer to Miguel, remembering the horrible pain, pain just as bad as the cigarette burns, and Miguel trying to pull the monster away from him, trying so hard, but the monster was too strong. It was ugly, with jagged teeth and a lumpy green face that he still saw in his nightmares.  
  
Miguel had tried to make the pain go away by singing once the monster was gone, and they'd cried together, asking the Angels to please send their Papa back to keep the monster away from them. What he remembered most was Miguel saying over and over how sorry he was that he hadn't been able to help Nando. But Nando hadn't been able to help Miguel either when the monster attacked him.  
  
At four, he was too young to understand emotional trauma. But he something was wrong with Miguel, very wrong, something beyond just not talking. If he'd been older, he would have said that although the monster was gone, it was still hurting right there with Miguel, haunting him and hurting him every second of the day. He had tried everything to get his brother to talk to him, even if it was just when they were alone, but Miguel refused.  
  
He wondered now with a sick feeling if it was because Miguel was mad at him for not keeping the monster away.  
  
"Hey, Miguel?" He whispered, and his brother looked over at him.  
  
"I'm sorry I couldn't stop the monster. Please don't be mad at me any more. Do you hate me?"  
  
Miguel put his hand on Nando's cheek and shook his head no firmly. Invisible in the dimness of the room, his eyes were full of overwhelming love and sorrow. He lowered his forehead down to Nando's chest, and began to shake with silent sobs, even in his grief unable to make the slightest noise. 


	5. Part 5

Chiquitita 5/??  
  
Bikky's POV:  
  
I remember my first class at Quantico, looking around, seeing a lot more people than I expected. Feeling a little nervous, a lot excited. Feeling like I was back in high school even though I was 24. Seeing that everyone else looked a lot older than me. 24 is bare minimum for the Feds, or I would have joined the minute I graduated high school. I guess that's what they're afraid of.  
  
I hadn't met my roommate yet, and I was in a pretty good mood, figuring that maybe he'd changed his mind and I'd be left in peace. I'd gone through a ton of them in college, and I hadn't liked any of them. There was Derek, who kept trying to save my soul. Then Andrew, who put in for a change the minute he saw me. Kevin, who thought I wasn't black enough. Then Saul, who thought I wasn't white enough. Patrick seemed okay at first, but the minute he found out that my foster parents were both men he requested a new roommate, afraid that I was going to be unable to resist raping his saggy ass. The other names I've forgotten. It was not a pleasant experience. I had my own way of doing things, my own style, and I wasn't used to sharing or compromising. I was the quintessential only child, and I liked it that way.  
  
The instructor looked like just about what you'd imagine. 50, slightly overweight, suit that looked expensive but really wasn't, shoes that reflected the tiled floor. He moved with the confidence of a man who'd been in law enforcement his entire life, and reminded me heavily of Ryo's old boss.  
  
"Let me ask you something." He began right off the bat, without an introduction. "How many of you are here because you saw Silence of the Lambs and thought it sounded really neat to work for the FBI?"  
  
To my surprise, about 5 people very sheepishly raised their hands.  
  
"Well, then I'd like to suggest that you don't waste my time and your time on this, and leave now. Contrary to what movies and books may lead you to believe, you will not be interviewing cannibals or casing down serial killers before you graduate."  
  
"We won't?" One of the men in the class, who looked about my own age, stood up. "Well, forget it then!" He stuck his nose up in the air and pretended to stomp toward the door.  
  
It broke the mood of the room, and everyone cracked up, even the instructor.  
  
And that was how I met Gunther Sullivan.  
  
Gunther was 25, and the youngest of 9 kids. Both of his parents worked full time to support them all so Gunther and his siblings had pretty much raised themselves. Like me, he had his own method of living, of viewing the world.  
  
Gunther was a short, skinny Chris Farley, willing to do anything and everything to get a laugh. His black hair was never combed, his clothing two sizes too large (he said his inner fat man was lurking, just waiting to break out in later life and he wanted to be prepared). He asked crazy questions, argued small details, and drove every instructor there bonkers. The only reason they didn't throw him out was because that he was the best in every class. He could take down and handcuff men twice his size without even blinking, outshoot all of us, and run us into the ground during exercises. Academically he led as well, having no trouble at all rattling off facts and figures and concepts that left us all amazed.  
  
I guess I don't have to tell you who my roommate ended up being.  
  
I don't know how to explain it, but we clicked though, he and I. He respected my desire to keep the room clean and that I needed quiet to study, and he was always willing to help me finish tough assignments. I was willing to overlook his late-night calls to his wife in Minnesota, and hearing "I miss you" 400 times in one conversation. When he told me her name was Tiffany, I immediately pictured a blonde cheerleader type in a tight skirt, and wondered how on Earth someone like that had ended up with Gunther.  
  
Meeting Tiff was an eye-opener, to say the least. She was a little mousy looking, with huge brown eyes and one of the most beautiful smiles I had ever seen. She and Gunther had met in kindergarten, and been best enemies. They'd despised each other, and Gunther had gone out of his way to tease her. When they were in third grade, Tiff had contracted some kind of illness, I never found out what. But the result was that they'd had to amputate both of her legs above the knee.  
  
She told me this when Gunther was busy, and we were both back at the room. The other kids in her class had been afraid of her, staying away, whispering. But Gunther, the bane of her existence up until that point, had become her knight in shining armor. He did everything he could to make her life easier on her, and even at 8 he hadn't allowed her to wallow in self- pity. He made sure that she was still included in games and activities, and that anyone who made fun of her ended up with a bloody nose for it.  
  
Tiff's mother had been protective of her, and Tiff had chafed at the restraint. When they were 11, she had expressed a regret that it had been years since she'd be able to go sledding. Gunther had smuggled her out of her house to the steepest hill he could find, and for a while they'd used his sled. Then they got the idea of using her wheelchair. Gunther had sat down in it with Tiff on his lap, and away they went.  
  
The chair of course tipped over halfway, and they'd gone spilling down the hill in the snow together laughing. At the bottom of the hill, he'd given her a very shy first kiss. They'd been married for about four years now, and they were planning to start a family as soon as Gunther graduated.  
  
I'd never been much for romantic stories, figuring my own relationship with Cal was romance enough, but I never looked at Gunther quite the same way afterward, and never without a feeling that I was pretty lucky to have him as a friend.  
  
I was thinking about him now as the plane touched down in LaGuardia. He and Tiff were planning to use our brief lay between training and assignment to work on that first baby, and I missed him. I'd had friends before, but besides Cal he was the only. deep friend that I'd had, I guess. The only one that really seemed to know me.  
  
It felt good to be back in New York though, in an airport filled with familiar, solid New York smells. LaGuardia always reminded me of the Star Wars cantina, with a thousand costumes and languages all at once.  
  
I looked for a familiar face, and remembered that I wouldn't be seeing any. It was mid-afternoon. Cal, Dee, and Ryo were at work. Dee and Ryo had tried to get the day off, but apparently someone had the flu and someone else had gone into labor, so they were stuck. And no matter how much Cal loved me, she wasn't going to short-change the kids she watched out for just to meet me at the airport. She lived and breathed her job, and that worried me at times. I suppose I was a little jealous of Tiff and Gunther, and I wondered if there was ever really going to be room for a husband and a family in Cal's life. But the last time I'd tried to bring that up she'd called me a sexist pig and several other things I didn't care to remember.  
  
I made my way outside, and hailed a taxi in less time than I had expected. The driver gave me a look I'd seen before, but didn't say anything, just grunted when I gave directions. Every now and then I caught his disapproving eyes in the mirror, the set of his jaw. I could almost hear his thoughts in the taxi's stale, pine-scented air.  
  
Damn mixed breeds. Your mother have jungle fever, boy? Shouldn't be allowed. Ought to be a law against it.  
  
I still tipped him when we arrived at the apartment, probably more than I should have, and I don't know why. Maybe because I felt like I had something to prove, and I didn't like feeling like that. I didn't like that no matter how much I saw that look in the eyes of people I met it made me bleed a little bit inside. But I knew that the driver would have looked at anyone who didn't have what he considered an acceptable pedigree in the same manner.  
  
The carpet on the stairs was blue now instead of red. There was an elevator, but I was in good shape now from my training and I preferred to use the stairs. Nothing else looked different. There was still a straw ring with a stuffed goose on the door of Apt 12, with Welcome stiffed into the goose's bib. The doormat of Apt 20 was turned upside down, indicating that the moment, guests were not welcome. Mr. Carter, the man in 20, was a little odd but bothered no one.  
  
I still had my keys to Ryo's apartment, and I'd been told to just let myself in. Somehow though I felt funny doing it as I turned the key in the lock, noticing that either I had shrunk or it was a lot higher up than I remembered. I felt embarrassed, like I was breaking in.  
  
It was like the first night I'd been back from college, staying here. I'd gotten up to sneak another piece of cake out of the kitchen and passed by the door to their bedroom. I could hear them inside, could hear both what they were doing and that they were trying very hard to be quiet about it.  
  
It was a jolt. Before I'd moved out, they didn't care if I heard or not. Oh, maybe back at first, but they had a lot of respect for my intelligence and figured that as a teenager, if I couldn't handle the thought of my folks getting it on, it was my problem, not theirs.  
  
But that night, it hit me that I was a guest in their home now, and they were trying to show me the same courtesy they'd show any guest. I realized, standing there in the hallway, that I'd never be able to really call this apartment mine again. It was both thrilling and terrifying, adulthood slamming into me with the force of a Mack truck, and it was one of those moments that you're never quite the same after.  
  
Still, as I eased the door open I found myself imaging that I was about to hear cries of "SURPRISE!" and see all of them inside the apartment waiting to welcome me back.  
  
Instead all I saw was the living room. The couch was different, not new but not the one I remembered from the last time I was here. I found myself chuckling, hoping that it hadn't come off a garbage pile like the "really cool" chair Dee had dragged up here my senior year. It had taken us a long time to get rid of the roaches that discovered it first, and Ryo hadn't spoken to Dee for days.  
  
In the middle of the floor were children's toys. Coloring books and some plastic cars and oversized blocks. Scribbled drawings had been taped to all four walls, and the DVD rack now contained things like " The Land Before Time" and "Ice Age." In a span of less than three weeks, these kids had made themselves at home.  
  
I hung up my jacket, put down my suitcase, and kicked off my shoes. It's funny what grows on you; Ryo was raised to believe that shoes go off at the door, and he'd trained Dee and I to be the same way. You could always tell when Dee was mad at him because he refused to do it and deliberately tramped all over the carpet. Next to the door now were two small pairs of sneakers and larger pair of women's Reeboks. My own dress shoes looked huge next to them.  
  
"Hello?" I called out tentatively. "Is anyone home?"  
  
A minute later I was gasping for air as something very small came barreling out of the kitchen and with a squeal crashed into me, his arms locking around what of my waist he could reach. I looked down to see dark eyes staring adoring up at me.  
  
"You're here! You're really here! Miguel, come see. Our brother is here!" He hugged me tightly.  
  
"You have got to be Nando." I was a little overwhelmed, to be honest. Not to mention flattered. At least someone was glad to see me.  
  
"Yup." He shook his head. "That's my other brother, Miguel." He pointed and I caught a glimpse of a small dark head peeking around the doorway at me, and then ducking back.  
  
Nando let me go with a sigh. "Come on, Miguel. He's our brother! You can't be scared of him."  
  
Miguel stayed hidden.  
  
"Miguel, you are being very rude!" He spoke in a mixture of English and Spanish, changing without warning from one word to the next. He stalked off into the next room and reappeared a second later, dragging the other boy by the hand. Miguel did not look happy but he didn't resist. He stared solemnly up at me when Nando pushed him forward. "Miguel doesn't talk." Nando explained. "He likes you though. He likes your pictures. Ryo and I bought you a CD with bad words, but Ryo won't let me listen to it. He says I can't say those words or do the bad finger thing like you do." He stopped for breath. "They're very nice. They don't even make me eat baked beans. Did they make you eat them?"  
  
I was getting a little dizzy. "I like baked beans."  
  
"I like jelly beans. The black ones are very good. Miguel doesn't like those so I get his black jelly beans. He eats my red ones. I like red ones, but if I get all his black ones he has less to eat. So I give him red so we have the same."  
  
I sat down on the couch. "Where's your babysitter?"  
  
"Right here." A young woman with very long black hair peeped out at us. "I'm Rosa. I didn't want to interrupt you meeting them."  
  
"Bik Goldman." We shook hands, and then Nando, feeling slighted, demanded I shake his as well and Miguel's. Miguel took a step back quickly.  
  
Rosa ducked back into the kitchen, and Nando climbed up on my lap. Miguel sat down on the floor in front of me, staring at us.  
  
"I bought you guys some presents." I pointed at my bag, and Nando immediately ran over it. After a moment, Miguel followed.  
  
I undid the latches, revealing my clothing and my gun. I had gotten a sort of glee when I'd been allowed to check it in with my suitcase. Being part of law enforcement had its perks.  
  
Nando was staring at my gun with wide eyes. "You need to put that up where I can't shoot myself in the head!" He actually shook his finger at me. "I'm just a little kid!"  
  
He was right, and I was completely ashamed to have forgotten it. My instructors would have shot ME in the head, not to mention what Dee and Ryo would have done.  
  
"It's not loaded." I offered lamely, looking around for someplace to stash it.  
  
"Dee says you pretend guns are always loaded." He was still scolding. "Cause they might be."  
  
Dee and Ryo had a small safe in their bedroom where they kept their own guns, but I didn't know the combination, of course. Think, think. something clicked in my head.  
  
I went to my old room and began rummaging around in the closet, trying to ignore the fact that my bed was gone, and that all traces of me had been more or less erased, and trying to ignore that my foot hurt where I'd stepped on a block. Finally, on the top shelf of the closet, I found a small wooden box I'd gotten from Cal for my 16th birthday.  
  
I pushed on it in several places, and the top popped open. The gun barely fit inside, but I squeezed it in and shut the top again. The seal was perfectly blended with the carvings on it, and if you didn't know exactly where to touch it, it wouldn't open. Puzzle boxes did, and will always, rock.  
  
I put the box on top of the refrigerator just to be safe, and returned to the living room, Nando at my heels, still repeating gun safety tips verbatim. "And don't swallow pigeons!" He finished up.  
  
"HUH?" I stared at him.  
  
"Dee puts that at the end, to make sure I'm listening." He explained.  
  
"Here." I pulled two packages out of my suitcase and handed him one. "This is for you." I handed Miguel the other present. "This is yours. They're the same."  
  
"Wow, thank you!" Nando was holding up the small pair of training rollerblades like they were made of solid gold. The wheels could be moved around for added balance. Miguel was eyeing his own pair with the first interest I'd seen him express. At the request of their worried parents, I'd also added helmets, elbow, and knee pads. I was half-surprised Ryo hadn't demanded I provide them with full body armor.  
  
"I'll teach you how to use them." I promised. "Cal and I used to skate all the time." I stopped for a second. "It's been a long time since we did that."  
  
I wasn't comfortable taking them out of the apartment without permission, so instead we ended up turning the kitchen into a mini skating area. Rosa and I stood ready to stop any broken bones or bloody noses, but Nando only seemed to fall on his butt, giggling each time.  
  
Maybe it was the extra year in his age, but Miguel was much better at it, only falling down once. He smiled every now and then, very quickly, but definitely smiles.  
  
"Poor little bird." Rosa whispered to me. "That's what he makes me think of. A little bird, the way he stares with those eyes. Like he's just waiting to be thrown out of his nest again." She shook her hair from her own eyes, and I noticed that she was extremely pretty. "But his Papas, they try so hard to make him feel safe. He's doing much better now than when I met him the first time."  
  
"You really love them." I watched Nando trip over Miguel and fall again with an 'oops'.  
  
"Like my own baby brothers." She smiled. "I'm the only girl, so there were always little boys around. Now, I have nephews too. I suppose I'll just have sons. I must have been a fluke to be a girl."  
  
I laughed with her. "I've never had any brothers before. This is a whole new ballgame for me."  
  
"Today is my Mama's birthday. I spent many hours picking her out a new coat. I know that from my brothers she will get a deck of cards although she does not approve of gambling, and an ashtray although she does not smoke, and maybe a clothes line although she has a drier." She glanced at the clock. "The party is starting soon. I hope your Papas are not late."  
  
"Go ahead and go." I waved my hand. "I'll keep an eye on the kids."  
  
"Oh, no, I couldn't do that."  
  
"Go ahead. We'll do some male bonding. I can't teach them to burp if a lady is around. If Dee hasn't beaten me to it." I added.  
  
She finally gave in, provided that I let Dee and Ryo know that it was entirely my idea. Nando gave her a huge hug goodbye, and I could see that the little guy was totally smitten with Rosa.  
  
"She's my girlfriend." He explained when she was gone. "Isn't she pretty? Doesn't she smell nice?"  
  
On both counts, he was right, I mused, then shook myself. I was almost engaged to Cal. What was I thinking, to be looking at another woman? I was furious at myself.  
  
Now that I had been a gentleman and let the babysitter go to her mother's birthday party, what was I supposed to do with two little boys who had grown bored with rollerblading?  
  
We ended up in the living room watching "Lilo and Stitch" which to my surprise was actually funny. Even as a kid, I wasn't much into Disney or cartoons or cutesy, but somehow I could relate to both the little girl and the little alien, both of them trying to find some semblance of family while their basic nature was just to mangle everything in their path.  
  
Nando was on my lap and I felt a bump. Miguel was now leaning against me, his head against my arm, and I put it around him. "See, I don't bite." I whispered. His own little arms were like Nando's, red and white with burns, and I didn't blame him one little bit for being cautious. I felt a surge of love, and with no fanfare, I became a big brother. 


	6. Part 6

Chiquitita 6/??  
  
"So my brother, he is very cool." Nando swung his feet under the chair. "We went skating. He has to leave soon." He frowned. "I wish he could live with us."  
  
"Nando, I know you're very excited to have Bikky there, and we'll talk more about him later." The psychiatrist, Denise, moved aside some drawings the boy had done. "But I want to talk to you about something else right now, something important."  
  
"Okay." Nando stopped swinging his feet and gave her a serious look. "I ate the last cookie. Ryo thought Dee did it."  
  
"Something more serious than that." Denise laughed. "Nando, sometimes when adults do bad things, they tell us we have to keep them a secret, that if we tell anyone that people will be mad at us, or won't love us any more. That's a lie. So when someone does something bad to us, we have to make sure we do tell."  
  
She watched him carefully, and a veil seemed to fall behind his eyes, darkening them, and he looked more like Miguel than ever. She'd definitely hit a nerve.  
  
"I want to talk to you about the monster, Nando."  
  
"Okay." Nando said happily. "He lives in a closet, and one day a little girl went into the closet and all the monsters were scared of her."  
  
"Nando, you know what I mean."  
  
He stopped smiling and looked away.  
  
"I know it's very hard to talk about, but we need to. Not just for you, but for Miguel as well. We need to know as much about the monster as we can so we can make sure he never comes back and hurts anyone else."  
  
He didn't answer.  
  
"It's okay to talk about him, even if he said you couldn't. Even if he said he'd hurt you if you did. We won't let him hurt you. Can you tell me anything about him? What he did to you and Miguel, or what he looked like?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Can you draw a picture of him for me?" She held out blank paper and crayons.  
  
"No."  
  
"Nando, this is very important. We can't put the monster in jail if we don't know how to catch him."  
  
"Stop it!" He jumped out of the chair. "I don't want to talk about monsters! You can't make me!"  
  
He yanked open the heavy door and ran out before Denise could stop him. When she reached the lobby he was already on Ryo's lap, sobbing. Miguel was in the next chair rubbing his brother's back, giving her a steady and unnerving stare. She knew that it would be useless to try and talk to either child again today.  
  
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Dee's POV:  
  
When someone says the word "Grandmother" to me I immediately think of Granny from the Sylvester and Tweety cartoons. A little old lady with white hair in a bun baking cookies. Never knew my own grandparents of course, or my parents either for that matter, but that to me is what a grandmother is supposed to look like.  
  
This woman, Mrs. Mendelez, was only 52, and her hair was salt and pepper. She was thin inside of the clothing she'd been issued, and her fingernails were cracked and yellow. Behind her stood her lawyer, ready to have us thrown out if we said a word. She was outside of our jurisdiction for one thing, even if we hadn't been involved with the case directly. But the commissioner had pulled some strings and gotten us permission to sit in on the interrogation today. She's already been arraigned and was being held over for trial. They'd set bail for her, but she'd been unable to make it. She still maintained that she had no idea how the boys had been injured, and had the nerve to insist that Nando had probably burned himself and Miguel.  
  
"Mrs. Mendelez, I want to talk about another issue concerning the boys." The officer running the show, Eric, began. He had a pile of notes we had given him, and he was trying hard to keep the anger out of his voice. "We have some concerns that while in your care, the boys may have been sexually abused as well."  
  
"Never!" She hissed. "To imply such a thing! Bad enough you take them away from me, little boys who lost their mother. Bad enough you lock me away from them in here, with criminals! I never hurt them!"  
  
"Mrs. Mendelez, did you ever let anyone else punish the boys?" He said the word lightly. "Maybe as a lesson to them to keep quiet?"  
  
"Not ever!" She looked up at Ryo, and then me. "Their Mama is rolling in her grave to think of her babies taken from me, given to men like that! It's them who probably touched them. They should all be locked in jail, not me."  
  
"You shouldn't be in jail." I spat the words out. "You should die for what you did to them!"  
  
"Dee." Eric warned.  
  
"Tell me about the monster." Ryo cut in. "The boys are terrified of a monster that they said came to hurt them. Please. If you loved your daughter, if you know something about what happened to them, tell us what it was. Tell us how to help them. Miguel won't talk at all."  
  
"Miguel is a good boy." Mrs. Melendez nodded. "He's like his Mama. Fernando is like his father. Lots of big talk, lots of crazy ideas." She sat up straighter. "He killed my daughter. Talked her into buying a new fast car and drove it right into a tree. He's probably talking the devil's ear off now."  
  
I felt sick to my stomach listening to her. I tried to imagine what it would be like to be small enough for her to hurt, and I very nearly did kill her in that moment. Was she the only monster, or was there another one?  
  
"Mrs. Melendez, let me lay it on the line for you." Eric sat closer to her. "We have enough evidence right now to put you away for a long time based on the cigarette burns. You'll be laughed right out of court if you try and claim a four-year-old did that. We'll also introduce testimony from a well- respected child psychiatrist that in her professional opinion the boys were sexually assaulted. Do you know what they do to child molesters in jail, Mrs. Melendez?" He held up his hand to stay her angry response.  
  
"We know you did the burns. But if you didn't do the rest of it, you need to tell us and tell us now. Because otherwise you're going to be doing extra time for a crime you didn't commit. That's not a scare tactic, that's a fact."  
  
For a second, fear crawled across her face, but I didn't think it was fear of prison. She knew she was headed there anyway. I thought maybe she was going to talk then, give us a name and an address of someone to go arrest, but she shook it off.  
  
She ignored the next few questions, and Eric finally gave up, thanking her and motioning for the guard to lead her back to her cell. She turned around before the door closed, and her black eyes fixed on Ryo, and then me.  
  
"A little boy isn't such a big thing to eat. Maybe the monster is still hungry. Maybe he'll come after bigger boys this time."  
  
"We're not kids." Ryo was disgusted. "You can't bully us like you could them."  
  
"It never gets really dark in here, did you know that?" She asked. "Always a light on somewhere. You should keep a light on too." She vanished through the doorway.  
  
"Jesus." I collapsed in a chair. "I can't even imagine. living with that for half a year? It's a wonder they're not both insane!"  
  
"Do we really have enough to nail her on the other abuse charges as well?" Ryo asked heavily.  
  
"I believe we do. We're going to try anyway. But I don't think it's her any more than you do. She's either protecting someone, or she's afraid of retaliation if she gives up a name. If only we could get the boys to just tell us what was done to them."  
  
"We can't even get Miguel to tell us what color shirt he wants to wear." I put my hand on Ryo's shoulder and he reached up to squeeze my fingers. "And Nando throws a tantrum if you try and talk to him about it. Maybe when they're older it will be okay, but we're running out of time." 


	7. Part 7

Chiquitita 7/??  
  
Bikky's POV:  
  
"Come on, Rosa, it's easy."  
  
After only a week, Nando and Miguel were both experts on the rollerblades and we'd been able to move the wheels into normal positions. The weather was warming up, and it was too nice to keep them cooped up inside.  
  
With a week left on my vacation, I'd fallen into a routine. While Dee and Ryo were at work, Rosa and I took the kids to the park every afternoon. Cal had joined us once, but couldn't get away from work again. I still saw her in the evenings, and I'd planned to spend most nights over there, but she said it wore her out too much for work the next day. Since I'd gotten back, we'd only been together twice. Okay, two and a half times.  
  
It wasn't the lack of sex that was bothering me, it was the lack of Cal herself, the lack of the bond we'd once shared so closely. I felt like I was watching her though a pane of glass, and as she became more and more engrossed in her work, the glass fogged over more and more. The nights I was there, she was out of bed almost right away, pouring over case files for hours, biting my head off if I tried to coax her back into my arms.  
  
After watching the boys and I tear around on the blades, Rosa had gotten up enough nerve to request a few lessons herself. She'd almost lost her nerve when we weren't able to find training blades for adults. Dee and Ryo had given her the pair she was wearing now as special thank you for her help with the kids.  
  
"How do you make it look so simple?" Rosa asked me now, sprawled on the ground. I bent to help her up and she wobbled on my arm. "I think I should stick to walking."  
  
"Come on Rosa, don't be a wimp." I teased her. "You'll get the hang of it."  
  
"I'll hang myself with the laces." She muttered, but made another attempt to push off. She managed a few feet this time before landing back on the ground, shooting a dirty look at Nando, who was giggling.  
  
She was twenty-two, and had graduated college last year. She had her teaching certificate, but they didn't have placement for her until the new school year in the fall, where she planned to teach kindergarten. For now she was still living at home, being harassed by her little brothers and taking care of my little brothers on the side. She said it was her mother's fondest goal for Rosa to have a nice job, meet a man there immediately, and give it up. Rosa said she wouldn't put it like that herself, but the idea of getting married and starting a family wasn't something she was against.  
  
"Not just anyone though." She said firmly one day. "My own Papa. I love him very much. He is never mean to me, he never scolds me or hurts me. But he isn't comfortable with children. He does not know what children need to hear. He does not believe that children need hugs from Papas as well as Mamas. He is very. distant. My children will have a Papa who will play with them, who will tell them stories and sing silly songs to them and hold them when they cry. My children will have a Papa like Ryo or Dee."  
  
She was shy at first glance, but once you go to know her she was very open and honest. She laughed with her entire body, and she could take a joke as well as she gave them. In a lot of ways, she reminded me of Cal as she used to be, before she'd been buried in duty and responsibility.  
  
We managed somehow to keep Rosa upright, and by the time we were ready to head home she was doing pretty well. I had my arm around her waist, and Nando was holding on to her free hand. Miguel was holding to my other hand and we had formed a shaky sort of chain. Nando, Rosa, and I were laughing, and Miguel was even give us smiles that lasted for more than a few seconds.  
  
I heard a car horn honk, and saw Dee's battered brown Dodge pull up to the curb. We all piled in, and made small talk while he drove Rosa home, and then back to our place. "Wait here." He told me, and I glanced at him in surprise as he unbuckled the boys and disappeared inside the building with them. A minute later he came back alone and climbed back behind the wheel.  
  
"Where are we going?" I asked, confused.  
  
"No where really." He glanced at me. "But I think you and I need to talk."  
  
Those words, when I was a kid, always put me on edge, and they did so now. Dee's talks were never something he went into lightly.  
  
"What about?"  
  
"What's going on between you and Rosa?" He asked softly.  
  
"Nothing is going on. We're just friends, that's all." I picked at a thread on the car seat.  
  
"That's not what it looked like to me. That's not what it would have looked like to Cal if she'd seen."  
  
"I was teaching Rosa how to skate! You gave her the skates, you knew I was going to teach her. And Cal could have seen. She could have been there; we invited her. We always invite her. She never comes!"  
  
"Maybe she doesn't come because she doesn't want to watch her boyfriend hitting on another woman."  
  
"Get real!" I tried to bite down my anger. Anger at Dee for forcing me to talk about things I'd rather not face at all. "Cal never has time for anything. Not me, that's for sure. The only way I could get Cal to notice me now is to shrink myself back down to ten and put some bruises on my face."  
  
He had parked the car in a fast food lot, I noticed. "I know you're angry at her, and that she's hurting you. But Rosa isn't the answer. If you're using her to get back at Cal, you're going to hurt both of them in the process and I won't allow that to happen."  
  
"I like Rosa. She's smart, and funny, and she's sweet. She listens to me when I talk." I leaned back. "Is that so much to want?"  
  
"No." He shook his head. "It's not. What's wrong is trying to have two things at the same time. That's not fair to either of them. I know you love Cal. You know you love Cal. But do you have feelings for Rosa too?"  
  
"I don't want to." God, I was almost crying. "But what if I do? What then?"  
  
"Well, you have a few choices. You're being shipped off to Jersey City next week, right?"  
  
I had requested to be assigned in New York City, but I'd been told that everyone wanted to be assigned in New York City. Jersey City was as close as I could come.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You can let it ride out until then, and go on your way. Not face any of it."  
  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"The mature options are to either tell Rosa that you're not interested in anything but a friendship, or to tell Cal that it's over. But you'd better do one or the other and soon before this gets way out of hand."  
  
I wanted to tell him that it was none of his business, but where Cal was concerned it was. He'd been her surrogate father, one of them, as much as he had been mine, even if she hadn't lived with us.  
  
"If Cal loved me, she'd make me a priority." I said at last. "She's pushing me away." I paused. "Dee, do you know something I don't know? Is it just work? Is there something else going on with Cal? Is she using work as an excuse?"  
  
"I don't know." He said after a moment. "She hasn't told me anything, but before you make any big decisions try talking to her one more time. Maybe if she realizes how close she is to losing you, it might shock some sense into her."  
  
He started the car up again. "But if you do end up with Rosa, I'm not saying I won't support you in it. Just as long as you're sure of what you want."  
  
"I barely know Rosa. You're making it sound like I'm about to run off with her. I only met her a week ago."  
  
I noticed that he was heading toward Cal's apartment instead of his own. He stopped at the curb. "You're right. You've known her a week. You've known Cal most of your life. Go talk to her. Get her to listen."  
  
I changed back into my shoes and started to put the blades in the backseat, paused, and hung them around my neck instead. "Here goes nothing." I muttered. His hand on my arm made me turn around.  
  
"Good luck, Bik."  
  
"Thanks. I'll need it." It was only after he had driven away that I realized he'd called me Bik instead of Bikky. For some reason, it gave me a burst of confidence. Cal had to listen to me tonight. Our future was riding on it. 


	8. Part 8

Chiquitita 8/??  
  
Bikky's POV:  
  
She took my breath away when she opened the door, standing backlit by the glow of her apartment.  
  
Her hair was loose around her shoulders, and she was barefoot, wearing an over-sized button-down shirt and faded jeans. She'd never looked more beautiful to me than she did at this moment, the professional facade she wore during the day discarded for the something fey and untamed. In this woman, not the other, was the ghost of the girl who had grown up at my side. Best friend, lover, boon companion, fellow outcast. I took a step forward.  
  
"Honey, it's not a good time." She raised her hand. "I've got a ton of work to do."  
  
"It's never a good time." I tried to keep my anger down. "And you've always got a ton of work to do." I pushed past her into the apartment. There were some benefits to being bigger.  
  
"Let's not do this again, please. I'm not up to it." She reluctantly shut the door, but still stood near it. "It's been a long day. They're returning the Jensen girl to her father because he's supposed to be clean this time, and two months from now I know she's going to end up beaten again or worse. We still don't have a placement for Tyler; no one is willing to take on a kid with retardation that severe. Kalvin was doing okay, we thought, but today he attacked his foster brother with a ballbat..."  
  
"And I feel just as bad about that as you do." I argued with her. "But there's nothing you can do for any of them tonight."  
  
"You don't understand." She turned away. "God, you are so selfish sometimes. Who cares if little kids suffer, as long as you get what you want!"  
  
"I do care." I grabbed her arm and she jerked away. "I care that you're going to burn yourself out and not be any good to anyone. I care that I'm leaving next week and it might be a while before I see you again. I care that the woman I love, the one that's supposed to love me, can't even be bothered to give me five minutes of her precious time! I can't live this way."  
  
"Then don't." Her eyes were blazing. "Get out. Go find someone else. Someone who'll be the little housewife you're looking for. It won't be me!"  
  
"I never said I wanted a housewife!"  
  
"Well, you sure don't want one with a career. When you left for training, did I pitch a fit? How many months were you gone? Did I act like you were doing it on purpose to hurt me? Why is your career SO important and mine isn't?"  
  
"Cal, I know it's important to you. I'm not asking you to give it up. I'm just asking...." I steadied myself. "I need to know if you still have room in your life for me. If you don't, then tell me now."  
  
"Why now?" She asked suspiciously. "Is there someone else?"  
  
"No." I shook my head. "Not yet, anyway."  
  
"I see."  
  
"No, you don't see! I don't want there to be anyone else. But I'm not going to spend the rest of my life waiting in the shadows for you to make up your mind. Do you want me in your life or don't you?"  
  
"Bikky, it's not a question of wanting you or not wanting you. It's a question of what I have to put first. Right now you don't need me as much as these kids do."  
  
"Right now." I repeated. "When is right now going to change? Where do my needs fit on your list of priorities, Cal? When is it my turn? When you retire? When we're too old to have a family of our own? Will it be my turn then?"  
  
"I think you should go." She reached toward the door and I stopped her hand. "I guess that's my answer." I pointed to the skates around my neck. "But I'll give you one last chance. Come skating with me. Just for half an hour."  
  
"Maybe this weekend. Not tonight."  
  
"Don't put yourself out." I was using everything I had in me not to cry. "Sorry to have wasted your time. I promise never to do it again." I yanked the door open, left her apartment, and slammed it shut behind me.  
  
I walked slowly down the hall, giving her a chance to call me back, but she did not.  
  
Outside, it was starting to turn cold, and I shivered, thinking that I should cry now but not able to let it happen.  
  
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"Hey you klutz!"  
  
Rosa sighed as she heard a splash, and went out to the kitchen, where a puddle of milk was dripping off the table and onto the floor. Nini, a tabby kitten Roberto had found last week, was purring loudly as she lapped it up.  
  
"Who did it?" Rosa put her hands on her hips and glared at two small faces.  
  
"It was Carlos." 6-year-old Roberto pointed at his 5-year-old-brother.  
  
"Clean it up, Carlos."  
  
Muttering, the child mopped up the spill while his brother grinned with the glee of seeing a sibling on the wrong end of Rosa's temper. Nini looked devastated to see her treat vanish.  
  
"Now." She glanced at the clock. "You can go to the store with me to pick up more."  
  
"I want to go!" Roberto jumped up. "Please, Rosa? Please?"  
  
"No! She asked me!" Carlos stuck out his lip.  
  
"You're too little to carry anything."  
  
"I am not!" Carlos lunged at Roberto and with a sigh Rosa separated them. "Enough. Both of you get your coats and shoes." Still arguing, the boys took off down the hall.  
  
As annoying as it was at times, that was how brothers were supposed to act, she though, wiping up a bit of milk the boy and the kitten had missed. Her brothers were all loud and healthy and obnoxious, and she'd never really appreciated that until she'd met Fernando and Miguel.  
  
Stopping to tell her mother they were going, she hustled the little boys out the front door and down the street toward the corner store, ignoring their pleas for her to buy them candy once they got there. She probably would, she decided, but they didn't need to know that now. They would behave better this way.  
  
She ended up buying a few other things besides milk, and a bag of raisins for each of the boys. To their keen disappointment, not the chocolate- covered kind, but realizing it was all they were getting, they were content to eat them in silence as Rosa led them back home, shifting the heavy grocery bag from hip to hip.  
  
It was completely dark out now, and as they neared their apartment Rosa felt a sense of unease, a chill in the air. She couldn't quit name it, but suddenly she was afraid, and she wanted nothing more than to be back inside.  
  
"Hurry." She snapped at the boys, and they looked at her out of big eyes, reflecting their own fear. They sensed it as well.  
  
From behind her, she heard the faintest sound of footsteps.  
  
"RUN!" She shoved the boys forward as something landed on her from behind. To her horror she saw a blacked gloved hand reach for Roberto and miss by inches.  
  
"RUN! NOW!" She screamed, and her brothers took off toward their building, shrieking.  
  
The figured, dressed entirely in black, and wearing a ski-mask, tried to go after them, but she hooked out her foot, catching his ankle and tripping him. They both tumbled to the pavement, and she screamed again to see the streetlight reflect off of a silver blade, and then a searing pain ripped through her shoulder. As the world began to darken, she locked her muscles around her attacker tighter, trying to buy her brothers more time, knowing that for reasons she didn't understand, it was them he'd been after.  
  
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Bikky's POV:  
  
I skated around aimlessly after leaving Cal's apartment, up and down the dark streets of New York, and I felt wild again. How many nights as a child had I done this, using physical speed instead of the manufactured kind to get my high?  
  
To my surprise, I found myself heading toward Rosa's apartment. It wasn't that late, I knew she'd still be up, and I needed someone to talk to. Not as a potential girlfriend, I realized, but as someone who being a woman understood them. Rosa might have some insight on Cal that I'd missed, she might know the magic words to say or do to make things better between us.  
  
I remember Dee saying once that it seemed violence followed he and Ryo everywhere. That they couldn't go out to a diner for a cup of coffee without a good chance of someone trying to rob it while they were there. Ryo said they just had good timing; Dee claimed that fate just wanted to make sure they never got a chance to relax. He pointed over and over at what had happened in England. "We just HAD to pick that hotel."  
  
It was a family curse that had latched on to me, and so no matter how lost I was in my own thoughts or misery, I was always alert for something to happen. That's why, when I was close to Rosa's apartment and heard the screams, I reacted without thinking.  
  
I rounded the corner on my skates as fast I could, cursing the fact that my gun was still at Ryo's place. I saw in an instant the girl on the ground, and the man above her, holding a bloody knife and lunging for her again.  
  
I threw myself at them, trying to get him to drop the knife, yelling "FBI! FREEZE!" as loud as I could.  
  
He grabbed my shoes, which were around my neck, and yanked, trying to choke me with the laces. I twisted under him, trying desperately to remember my training. But I was still wearing my skates and it was hard to balance. We were rolling in spilled groceries, and I could smell milk and broken eggs and soap. I felt the blade of the knife against my forehead, and my skin split open as blood poured into my eyes. The knife came down again, this time stabbing into my side. I gave one final, desperate punch and the knife went flying out of his hands. Disarmed, he jumped away from me and began running down the street.  
  
I might have caught him. On my blades I might have been fast enough, but I couldn't be two places at once. I knelt down toward the woman and pushed her hair aside, blinking away my blood. I was aware of a pain in my side, but I barely noticed the red puddle forming under it.  
  
"Rosa?" I was stunned. Her face was pure white and her breathing was jerky and labored, her coat soaking wet and red. I yanked out my cell phone and called 911. Around me I could see lights coming on, and faces appearing in doorways.  
  
"BACK!" I yelled, reaching into my own coat and someone screamed, assuming I had a gun. I flipped out my badge and held it up in the lamplight. "FBI! Get back in your own apartments. The paramedics are on the way!" I grabbed a package of lunchmeat from the ground and placed it over the wound. The plastic would make it airtight and the cold would slow down the bleeding a little. Where had I learned that? I couldn't recall.  
  
"ROSA!!!" A heavy-set woman was running at us. At her side was a balding man, and they were followed several boys of varying ages. "ROSA!" The woman flung herself to the ground over my friend.  
  
"Don't move her!" I warned. "She has to be kept still. Come on Rosa, just hang on." I pressed the wound harder. "Stay with us."  
  
The man was shaking. "My sons came back, said she'd been attacked. Who are you? Did you do this to her?" He grabbed at my coat.  
  
"No! I'm her friend. She babysits my brothers!" I was trembling myself, remembering just a few hours ago holding Rosa against me and laughing. "Look. I'm Federal Agent. See?"  
  
"Juan, this is Mr. Goldman." Rosa's mother was crying, touching her daughter's hair. "He is a good man. He would not do this. Rosa, she likes him." She sucked in her breath. "He is hurt badly too." She was trying to make me lie down but I couldn't understand why. My head wasn't that badly cut, it would only need a few stitches at most. It was getting hard to think clearly.  
  
The next few minutes were a blur of lights and sirens, and I couldn't quite understand why I couldn't make my brain function correctly. What was the proper procedure for this? Rosa. Rosa was being taken in the ambulance and they were trying to put me on a stretcher as well and I was trying to push them away. It was just a scratch. "It's only a flesh wound." I remember giggling in a fake British accent as they forced me down. Someone was yelling out that my BP was something over something, and they were trying to take my clothing off.  
  
Bit rude, I though muzzily. I don't even know their names. Serves Cal right though. I'll sleep with all of them, even if I'm not gay. Who knows? Maybe I am and just don't know it. How much exactly did I have to drink? I looked up into worried faces, and that was the last thing I remembered for a while. 


	9. Part 9

It was the longest night of Dee's entire life.  
  
The chairs in the waiting room were cracked and old, the magazines were cracked and old. Even the people waiting there with them looked cracked and old and worn. Off to the side an aquarium bubbled, an attempt to calm the frazzled nerves of people stuck here in this limbo, waiting to see if they had a reason to celebrate or mourn. Since two blue fish were currently floating at the top of the water, it was hardly reassuring.  
  
Several hours ago, the Lopez family had gotten their reason to celebrate. Rosa's wound, although deep, wasn't life-threatening and she was already awake, if groggy, and asking if her brothers were okay and to see her Mama and Papa.  
  
But there was no word yet on Bikky, other that he was still in surgery, and still clinging to life.  
  
The knife had perforated his liver, and he'd lost a considerable amount of blood. And of course, Bikky just had to be obstinate even in that and have a blood type of B-, which was pretty rare. The only other blood type he could receive besides his own was O-, which was even rarer. They'd been lucky to find enough to stabilize him, but just barely.  
  
Dee doubted the young man had even known at first it was Rosa whose life he was saving. He just saw someone in trouble and ran to help. They'd trained him well. Too well. He sank back into the chair next to Ryo, who was pale as an eggshell and staring off into space.  
  
Mrs. O'Reilley, a neighbor in their building, was keeping the boys for them right now. She'd known Bikky since he was in his teens and begged them to let her know how he was doing.  
  
Cal was in another chair, her knees drawn up against her chest and her shirt falling over them. Her eyes were closed tightly, and several times Dee thought she was asleep, but every time the door opened she sat up with a start. She looked far younger than someone a few years on the good side of 30, younger than Dee could ever remember seeing her. She had waved away both his offers of comfort and his questions about how her discussion with Bikky earlier had gone. Not well, he guessed, by the fact that Bikky was out rollerblading around the city instead of snuggled up with her in bed. They must have fought again, and the pain of that was eating her alive.  
  
It was after midnight when they finally received word that Bikky had made it through the surgery. His condition was still critical, though, and they cautioned that in the next few hours he could go either way.  
  
"May we see him?" Cal asked softly.  
  
"Are you a member of his family?"  
  
"You better believe she is." Ryo spoke in a soft tone I'd never heard before.  
  
"Only for a few minutes." The doctor said at last. "We have a breathing tube in him so he won't be able to speak. He's opened his eyes a few times but hasn't been responsive otherwise."  
  
Understanding what I did about hospital procedure, it hit me hard that the only reason he was letting us in tonight to see Bikky without a fight was that he truly thought he might not make it.  
  
He obviously didn't know our boy.  
  
He led us down the hall, like every other hospital corridor in the world, with the sounds of carts being pushed and doctors being paged, and the smells of medicine and rubbing alcohol. I heard a baby crying in the distance, and someone trying to calm it down, and only Ryo's hand in mine kept me sane. Cal was walking behind us a bit, and every time I tried to slow for her to catch up, she fell back more. It confused me at first and angered me, wondering how she could act like this when Bikky's life was still in danger, and then I remembered her father. We'd brought her to the prison hospital when he had finally succumbed to cancer. The memories had to be coming up now. She hadn't acted like this when visiting Fernando and Miguel, but this was pretty different.  
  
He looked like something you'd see on ER, with machines all around him, monitoring him, keeping him alive. They had a bandage over his head where they'd stitched him up and IV's in both hands. The breathing tube was taped to his mouth, and his hair was a golden halo on the pillow, which seem blinding next to his skin. Like Cal, he looked way too damn young.  
  
Ryo reached out to touch his hand, and his blue eyes opened, looking confused.  
  
"It's okay, Bikky. Just relax. You're in the hospital. You've been stabbed." He reached out and stroked our son's hair gently.  
  
Around the breathing tube his lips moved.  
  
"Don't try and talk yet." I cautioned him, and he frowned at me and formed the word again.  
  
"Rosa is okay." Ryo understood what he was asking. "Luckily a hero showed up and saved her in the nick of time. The Lopez family still has a daughter because of you."  
  
His eyes closed for a minute, then reopened, focusing on Cal, and his lips moved again.  
  
"He says he's sorry." Ryo translated.  
  
With a sob she moved forward, kissing Bikky on the head below his bandages. "No, no, I'm sorry. We'll talk all you want when you get out of here. We'll work it out, I promise. Do you know how scared I've been? I thought I was going to lose you."  
  
He managed a slight shake of his head, and tried to smile, but gave up finally. A minute later he was asleep again, and the doctor was ushering us out.  
  
"Ryo?" I asked, and he jumped, as if he'd never heard the name before. "Will you and Cal be okay a couple of minutes? Something I've gotta do."  
  
"Sure." He didn't ask what and I didn't volunteer. I pulled him close for a second, wanting to tell him it was all going to be okay but not knowing if it really was. This time, Cal allowed me to hug her as well.  
  
I don't know what kind of blood I have in my veins, could be anything. But working undercover I'd been able to pass myself as Spanish more than once, and tonight I did it again, cornering a nurse and explaining in worried half-English how my young niece Rosa Lopez had been brought in and I needed to see her right away. She didn't doubt me for a moment and soon I had a room number.  
  
Her mother was leaving the room as I arrived. I'd met her before once when Rosa had taken the job. Both of her parents insisted on meeting us before letting their daughter spend her days in our apartment. I was sure they were going to pitch a fit about her babysitting for a same-sex couple, being pretty devout Catholics, but any men that were more interested in seducing each other than their innocent young daughter were okay in the Lopez' book.  
  
Mrs. Lopez hugged me tightly and asked about Bikky. She was almost as shaken up about him as she was about Rosa, and kept repeating over and over what a hero the brat was, and how they'd never be able to repay him for what he'd done for them tonight.  
  
"Mrs. Lopez, I actually came here to ask you something." I tried not to flush with embarrassment. "I was raised in a Catholic orphanage, and I was wondering. do you happen to have a rosary I can borrow?"  
  
"Of course." She dug in her purse and pulled out the string of beads. "We'll pray together for your boy."  
  
We weren't sure where the chapel was, so we just knelt down right there on the floor together, ignoring the odd looks the nurses were giving us, and although I thought I'd forgotten the words, they flowed back now. Mine in English, Mrs. Lopez' in Spanish. The sounds of the hospital around me faded away, and all I could hear was the chanting and all I could feel was the calloused tips of the woman's fingers against mine.  
  
Someone knelt next to me, and somehow I wasn't surprised that it was Ryo, and I could see Cal kneeling down as well next to Rosa's mother. I realized I must have been gone a long time for Ryo to come looking for me, and started to apologize, but he waved it away, and two more sets of hands joined mine on the beads.  
  
Cal and Ryo stumbled over the words at first, and Mrs. Lopez and I guided them. I didn't know if there was anyone outside of the hospital to hear us, if it would ever do anyone any good but those of us on the floor, but for just a little while I needed to believe in something bigger than I was, and stronger than I was. Something strong enough to save Bikky's life.  
  
Merciful enough not to take him away from us. 


	10. Part 10

Bikky's POV:  
  
I lived in a dream-like state. People asked me things, and if I thought hard I could answer, but they didn't seem real to me. Sometimes it didn't even seem they were speaking any language I'd ever heard before, and yet I felt like I should understand.  
  
I knew their names, but who they were in relationship to me was blurred at times. Even after the tube was taken out of my throat, speaking to them required too much thought and energy. I knew too that Rosa was okay, but I wasn't entirely sure who Rosa was.  
  
When I wasn't in the half-awake state I dreamed. Sometimes I was little again, living with my father in the slums, lying awake on a dirty mattress and listening to the television blaring in the next room. Hearing Mr. Spock talk about how illogical something was. What was illogical, I mused? I tried to figure it out but it slipped away again.  
  
Once I was a rat, running as fast as I could next to other rats, hearing humans cheering. Feeling hungry and tired, and smelling the fleshy, half- rotten smell of the other rats around me.  
  
Once, and only once, I saw my mother standing in my room at Quantico. She was asking me to follow her, but as fast as I ran up and down the halls, I couldn't seem to catch up. Someone was holding me back, and I could see chains around my waist, feeling hands tugging me away from her. Later, I learned that for a few minutes my heart had stopped and that they'd had to move pretty quickly to get it started again. I have no idea, of course, of exact time I dreamed of my mother, but I do believe that it was then.  
  
When the world suddenly shot back into focus completely, three days had passed since the stabbing, and I remembered it before I opened my eyes. Rosa on the ground and bloody, the attacker. My forehead felt stiff, tight, and there was an annoying kind of pressure on my side. A nagging voice in my head told me to just go back to sleep, but another voice, which sounded suspiciously like one of the nastiest trainers at Quantico, ordered me to wake up and deal with life.  
  
The room was sunny, although I couldn't tell what time it was. There were flowers everywhere, and drawings on the wall, the kind a little kid would do. I turned my head, feeling the skin pull, and saw Ryo watching me.  
  
He looked like a raccoon, dark circles and bags under his eyes, wrinkled clothing. Since with Ryo wrinkles are something akin to pestilence and plague, I figured he must have been here a while.  
  
"Welcome back, stranger." He whispered, touching the side of my face. "They said you might actually rejoin the living today."  
  
I tried to answer but my throat was too dry. He poured some water into a paper cup, and warned me to sip it slowly or I'd get sick. Even the act of swallowing it was exhausting.  
  
"How long?" I asked. I was suddenly afraid. With how bad Ryo looked I half expected him to announce I'd just woken up from a two year coma.  
  
"It's Thursday. Same week." He offered me more water and I shook my head. What little I drank was already making me queasy. "They've been lowering your medication since last night." He continued. "Dee says they got tired of hearing you snore."  
  
"How's Rosa?"  
  
"She's doing great. She's still weak, and she'll have a scar, but they're probably going to send her home later today. Most of the flowers are from her family. I think that from now on every single Lopez boy is going to be named after you."  
  
He pulled a chair close to my bed. "Dee went to get some coffee, and we made Cal go home and get some sleep. She's a wreck."  
  
"Least I got her attention." I muttered.  
  
"There are easier ways to do that." He laughed. I tried to as well, but it hurt too much.  
  
"You know for a while there." He gave me a really intense look. "For a while, they didn't think." His voice broke.  
  
"Hey, give me a little credit. You think one little knife is enough to stop me?" I winced. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't so little."  
  
It was a pattern with us that went back to my earliest days with him. He'd try and get sentimental and fatherly, and I'd get uncomfortable and make a joke about it. It didn't mean I didn't like it. Just that it wasn't in my nature to be cuddly.  
  
"More flowers." I heard Dee's voice from the doorway. "I swear the Lopez family must own stock in FTD." He strolled in and sat the green vase down on the one remaining space near the TV, grabbing up the card. "Well, good morning, sunshine. Decided to stick around after all, I see."  
  
"Of course." I chuckled. "Someone has to keep you out of trouble." He looked as frazzled as Ryo.  
  
"Oh, you'll like this one." He waved the card. "'Hey dipshit. You're not supposed to get yourself killed until after they assign you a case. Screw up again and I'll fly to New York and beat the crap out of you. Tiff sends her love.'"  
  
I could hear Gunther's voice overlapping Dee's as he read. It felt like balm being poured over my wounds, that I was slowly working my way back into the world.  
  
"Assistant Director Marsh sent those." Ryo pointed at a bunch of orchids. "He says he wants you in Jersey City the moment you're back to 100% and not a moment before."  
  
"Ah, I'll be ready in two days." I waved my hand. "This place is boring. How are the little guys doing?"  
  
"Okay. They miss you. They've been sleeping on the sofa bed instead of their own bunk, and Nando's going around telling everyone about his big brother the hero. Miguel took your graduation picture out of the photo album and he carries it everywhere. You made the paper too. They wanted a picture as well but we didn't think it would be a good idea."  
  
"Thanks." Doing undercover work was going to be difficult enough with my unique appearance. It would be nearly impossible if every idiot in the city knew what I looked like. "Just don't let anyone make a big deal out of it, okay? I don't want that. All I did was stop a mugging."  
  
"In New York, that is a big deal." Dee growled, but he look he gave Ryo was odd, and I picked up on it. "Okay, what aren't you telling me?"  
  
"You should go back to sleep." Ryo tried to pull up my blankets and I smacked at his hand, almost pulling out an IV. "Spill it."  
  
He paused. "Bikky, Rosa's convinced it wasn't a mugging. She swears that the perp was after Roberto and Carlos, her brothers. She said the guy came very close to grabbing Roberto."  
  
"Christ. I wish I'd killed him." I said with regret. "I will, as soon as I get out of here."  
  
"Stand in line." Dee put his arm around Ryo. "We've got a little matter to settle with him as well. Now, do what you're told and go back to sleep."  
  
My body responded very enthusiastically to the word sleep even if my mind didn't. "Tell them I want to go home." I muttered. Before I drifted off, something flitted across my mind, something about Rosa and her brothers and the attack, but it was gone before I could grab it.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Waiting for news of Bikky, Cal had wandered the halls of the hospital so much that she knew the place backwards and forwards.  
  
Sometime she had found herself in the maturity ward, staring at the newborns in their little glass cribs, waving their hands in the air. The healthy ones, anyway. Not far away was the neonatal unit, where under heat lamps and constant attention, the smallest of the small fought to stay alive. She wondered how many she'd see again and again in the next few years as they were shifted from one home to the next, punished every day for the crimes of their mothers. Who really gave a damn about these skinny little creatures anyway, besides a handful of people in her department? Who cared if they survived or not?  
  
She cared. She cared so much she hurt with it. She cared enough to try and do something about it.  
  
If she wanted to she could be here herself as a mother. She could be one of the weary, beaming women cooing over their healthy, strong little sons and daughters. She could be here time and time again, turning out latte-skinned future Federal Agents and social workers, and they'd never want for anything.  
  
It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that those fantasy children would have the best of everything love if not endless money could provide, while these kids suffered in pain and neglect. Society had already turned its collective back on them. By having children of her own, Cal would be effectively doing the same.  
  
But Bikky had just assumed that she wanted a family as much as he did. That as soon as they both had good careers going they'd get married and do the whole picket-fence thing. He hadn't even asked her about it, if that fit into the plans for her life. He'd just assumed, and that angered her. It wasn't as if there was any great hurry to settle down for either of them, and she knew Bikky well. Knew that he was jealous and needy, and that if he resented the time her job took from him now, it would be a thousand times worse if they were married.  
  
Today though, she wasn't thinking about anything but Bikky being well again. When he was they'd really and truly talk, but she was still chilled to think of how close she'd come to losing him forever.  
  
She had a peace-offering smuggled in under her jacket, some apple turnovers and Reese Cups, the crunchy kind he was addicted to. She barely ever remembered kissing him when he didn't taste like peanut-butter.  
  
She shifted her package, and was pushing his door open when she heard laughter.  
  
"Oh you were a very bad little boy. I am surprised your Papas didn't turn your bottom red every minute of the day."  
  
"Dee would have if Ryo had let him. I don't know how many times he threatened to take off his belt. I'd call him a pervert and then he'd really get mad. We drove Ryo up the wall."  
  
Rosa Lopez was sitting on the hospital bed next to Bikky, and in front of them was a half-eaten bowl of chocolate ice cream. Rosa had her hand on Bikky's shoulder, her index finger move lightly across the material of his hospital gown.  
  
"Well, you're feeling better." Cal called out brightly.  
  
"Hey babe. Yeah, can't keep a good man down." He grinned at her and she reached his bed, leaned forward past Rosa, and kissed him. No peanut-butter this time.  
  
"I should go back to my own room before they notice I'm gone." Rosa slid off the bed. "But I had to see my hero again and thank him in person." She kissed Bikky as well, but on the cheek.  
  
"God, if I'd known this was part of the package I'd have gotten stabbed a lot sooner." He winked at her and they both laughed. Cal managed a watery smile.  
  
"I'm so glad you're okay, Rosa."  
  
"Only because of your man here." Rosa slid back into her slippers, next to Bikky's hospital bed. "You are very lucky to have him."  
  
"I am." Cal stressed the 'I' very slightly and she could see that Rosa had picked up on it. She expected the younger woman to blush or look away, but Rosa met her gave with a steady one, and Cal got a sense of a gauntlet being thrown down.  
  
"I will see you later, before I go home." Rosa promised Bikky. "I have to get strong enough to keep up with that wild little brother of yours." She squeezed his hand and left the room.  
  
"How's your side?" Cal asked when they were alone, putting the pack of candy in front of him, watching his eyes brighten as he tore it open.  
  
"Still there." He managed around a mouthful. "Soon as the medicine wears off, it reminds me it hasn't gone anyway. Got lucky though. Livers regenerate. I didn't know that."  
  
"You know you really scared me." She toyed with the empty candy wrapper. "I kept thinking about the fight, about how that might be the last conversation we'd ever have."  
  
He shook his head. "No. I'd have come back as a ghost and gotten in the last word."  
  
"Still believe in ghosts?" She teased.  
  
"I know what Dee and I saw in England. No matter what anyone else believes. I saw that little girl and I heard her crying. I know it's possible to go on. I would have come back, Cal. Just to tell you that I love you." He scooted himself over, freeing up a space.  
  
She lay down on the bed next to him, on his uninjured side and put her arm around him. "Love you back."  
  
His hand began moving down her body.  
  
"Now cut that out." She scolded. "Do you want to pull out your stitches?"  
  
"In your arms, my love, death would be the beating of a hummingbird's wings against the torrent of a hurricane."  
  
She groaned. "Oh god, that's really bad."  
  
"Harvey said that to Beatrice today on 'Starlight Cove'. He's got cancer. He doesn't know that Malanse is really his twin brother Styler. He was in a fire and had plastic surgery and doesn't remember Harvey at all."  
  
"I suppose that Beatrice is pregnant with Styler's baby." Cal said dryly.  
  
"No. She's pregnant with Cortland's baby. He's their father. She doesn't want to tell Harvey the truth because it might make him sicker."  
  
"We really do have to get you out of here. No more daytime TV. Daytime TV bad!" She swatted him gently. "Wait, you just woke up this morning. How do you know all that from one episode?"  
  
He blushed. "Gunther loved it. I've sort of been watching it for months now. A bunch of us were fans. We all had a party when Natalina and Dustin got married." Bikky frowned. "But I think Melissa is going to turn out to be still married to him. See, she needed to be married to get her inheritance from Gretchen."  
  
"No, no more." Cal wailed, burying her face in his side. "Make it stop."  
  
"Oprah had great tips on how to lose weight and keep it off."  
  
"Forgive me for not finding Oprah's advice on that particularly trust- worthy, Sweetheart."  
  
They were quiet for a moment, letting all the things they still needed to hash out go unmentioned for now. He was beautiful and he was going to live, and he was hers. Cal had always found the concept of two women fighting over a man incredibly stereotypical and demeaning, believing herself to be way beyond that. However, Cal had never been one to back down from a fight either.  
  
Bring it on, Miss Lopez. 


	11. Part 11

Chiquitita 11  
  
"So I can't hug you very tight, Dee says, but I can bring you things. I can bring you anything." Nando bounced around next to the sofa bed like a puppy. "Do you want anything?"  
  
"I want my hug." Bikky held out his arms. "And I want a good one. I promise not to tell."  
  
Nando slipped into his embrace, and the second he was gone Miguel stepped forward shyly, putting his own arms around the man.  
  
"I've really missed you guys. It stinks that they wouldn't let you come visit me. I got all your pictures though." Bikky leaned back on the pillows, moving the remote out from under his hip.  
  
"We drew lots more. For Rosa too. Her Papa came by and picked them up for her. He says to tell you that you have to come to dinner when you're well. I want to go too. She has fun brothers."  
  
Man, he'd missed this little guy, Bikky smiled. Both of them. Miguel was hovering over him like a small mother, his black eyes looking worried whenever Bikky moved. It was really good to be back home. Or at least where home was for now.  
  
Several days after really waking up, Bikky had demanded to be released from the hospital, and had not been amused to be told they wanted to keep him for at least another week. Sitting around and doing nothing just wasn't him. He was bored with television, bored with crossword puzzles, bored with books.  
  
So he had done what he had found always worked well in situations like this; ignored the rules and did as he pleased. He'd managed to get himself dressed without too much of a problem, trying to ignore the dizziness that hit him as soon as he stood, and trying not to puke all over the floor.  
  
He kept an eye on the door and as soon as the hall was clear he made a break for it. It went well until he reached the elevator, and ran headlong into his shocked and horrified foster parents. After forcing him back into his room and lecturing him for half an hour, they left with his shoes and clothing. As desperate as he had been to leave, the prospect of escaping barefoot and in a hospital gown hadn't appealed to him.  
  
He'd finally been able to coax the hospital into releasing him a day early, on the grounds that he spend the next month doing nothing but taking it easy. After his director assured him again that his job would be waiting, the young man had finally agreed.  
  
Now the question, he thought, as the boys crawled onto the hideabed with him to watch "Starlight Cove", was whether or not he could survive a month of being mothered to death. The hospital had been thoughtless enough to send along a whole laundry list of does and don'ts, and Ryo had nabbed it before Bikky got a chance to make corrections. Paying no attention to the fact that his foster son hated the taste of domestic beer and would have rather drank sewer water, he'd forced Dee to get rid of his entire supply. Just in case Bikky suddenly became tempted.  
  
"He's not supposed to get his incision wet, either." The beer's irate owner reminded Ryo sardonically. "Should I have Mr. Jenks turn off the water to our apartment just in case he gets tempted to go play in the toilet?"  
  
They'd provided him with a bell to ring if he needed anything, and he'd snapped that if they thought he was using it, they should give him a neck to wring too.  
  
He leaned back, watching Durmella and Armando stare longingly at each other through prison glass, Armando having been convicted of starting the fire where Styler/Malanse had supposedly died. The real arsonist hadn't been revealed yet, but Bikky suspected Cortland.  
  
He dozed off a bit during the commercials, vaguely aware that someone was trying to convince him that his clothing would never really be clean unless he used Ultra Wow. He guessed he'd be doomed to dirty laundry forever; Ultra Wow made him break out in hives.  
  
The soap returned to show Natalina and Dustin rolling around on a bearskin rug. Next to Bikky, Nando began to giggle. "That must tickle if you're all naked like that."  
  
"What in the HELL are you letting them watch?"  
  
Dee, having entered the room quietly in case Bikky was sleeping, grabbed the remote away and changed the television quickly to Nickelodeon.  
  
"Hey!" Nando sulked. "That's not nice!"  
  
Miguel, apparently having no interest in 'The Wild Thornberries,' nodded in agreement, and pointed at the TV hopefully.  
  
Bikky gave Dee a baleful glance. "Like they're old enough to understand any of it." He was still groggy. "Spoil sport."  
  
Dee rapped the remote lightly against his head. "You better believe it. Nothing non-kid friendly as long as Flotsam and Jetsam are awake."  
  
"This is the same guy who snuck Cal and I out to see 'Bloody Butcher Part 7' after Ryo said we were too young?"  
  
"That's different." Dee shrugged. "You were 12. Plus, Ryo just has no appreciate for the classics. 'Bloody Butcher' is an American institution."  
  
"Ahem." Came a voice behind Dee, and he glared at Bikky, who was giving him a sleepy grin. "You set me up!"  
  
"You're making me miss 'Starlight Cove.'" Came the swift reply. "Serves you right."  
  
Ryo had his arms crossed. "And how many other 'classics' did you take him to after I said no?"  
  
Nando and Miguel were now more enthralled with this conversation than they had been with Dustin and Natalina's love-life.  
  
"What's Bloody Butcher?" Nando asked. "Can I see it too?"  
  
"NO!" Ryo snapped. "It's very bad. Not for kids."  
  
"That means we'd like it." Nando assured Miguel.  
  
"I guess that means you don't want to see part 16 when it comes out next week." Dee grumbled. "'Butcher's Block'. He moves into a new neighborhood and." He paused, noticing how interested the children were.  
  
"Then what?" Nando pressed. "What does he do then?"  
  
"He has a block party." Ryo inserted quickly "He invites a lot of people and they have too much to drink and pass out. That's why I don't want you watching it."  
  
Bikky snorted loudly.  
  
Miguel was giving Ryo a steady look, and he shook his head in disapproval. He might as well have yelled LIAR at the top of his lungs. That did it for the still-doped Federal Agent, who began laughing as hard as his injured side would allow.  
  
It was going to be a long month, but the pain made him realize suddenly just how lucky he was to have it at all.  
  
  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"Look, you're being paranoid. The bigger one isn't talking, and the other one is too young to know what he's saying. No one listens to a kid that little."  
  
"Because it was dark, that's why. Anyone would have made the same mistake."  
  
"I know, I know. How can I forget with you reminding me constantly? I need more time."  
  
"Because they're protected better than Fort Knox! You try and get them!"  
  
"I understand. You're worrying too much. I'll take care of it. I promised you I would. I just need the right opportunity."  
  
"You do that. I want this over as much as you do."  
  
"Are you drunk? No way. What does he have to do with anything? I'm still bruised as all hell."  
  
"Wow, you are serious aren't you? You know I'm not going to say no to that. But I'm not making you any promises on that angle, dude."  
  
"I guess. You know I don't think like that. I didn't have much time to notice, to be honest. I was too busy trying to get out of there alive. He's strong as a mule."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, blah blah. Anything else I can pick up for you while I'm out, Your Majesty?"  
  
"You too. I'll call you back later."  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Peace.  
  
Papa was strong and loud. He liked to tell jokes and pull quarters out of your ears. He shaved in the morning and put shaving cream on your face and told you that soon, you'd be a big man shaving too. He liked to tease you, telling you that you thought too much for your age. Sometimes it hurt because you knew he wished you were more like him and Nando, but you liked to listen instead of talk. You loved listening to your family chatter at dinner time, and you would answer if spoken to, but their voices were musical to you.  
  
Your Mama liked to sing, and you sang along with her. Sometimes she danced around the kitchen with you and Nando, laughing, her long black hair spilling over both of you. Outside in the backyard there was a vegetable garden spilling over with onions and tomatoes and tiny peppers. You and Mama went out to gather these things together, and she let you help make her special salsa. Silly Nando always couldn't wait and ate a pepper straight down and had to drink lots of water. Mama laughed at his red face and comforted him.  
  
You remember, although sometimes it is hard, the last time you saw your Mama and Papa as they left in the new car. Mama kissed you and told you, as she always did, to take care of your little brother. You took that very seriously. She trusted you more than she trusted the babysitter, and Nando was so goofy he caused lots of trouble.  
  
But Mama and Papa didn't come back. Instead policemen came and took you and Nando with them. Someone told you that Mama and Papa were in heaven with the angels now. Nando wanted to call them and cried when they said he couldn't. You were numb inside, knowing that you'd never see them again, having a very brief idea of what death was from television. You were four, and Nando was three and you wanted your mother very badly.  
  
You stayed for a while with a man and a woman who had lots of other kids around. Nando liked to play with them, but you wanted to be left alone. You watched him though. To make sure no one hurt him.  
  
You thought maybe the man and woman would be a new Mama and Papa, but then they made you leave again and go live with an old woman you didn't know. They said she was Grandmama, and at first you were happy. You knew she was Mama's Mama, and it would be almost as good as living with Mama again.  
  
But she wasn't Mama, and she scared you badly. She didn't want you to make any noise at all, and Nando loved to make noise. Sometimes when she was at work a sitter came, a big fat woman who only watched TV. Sometimes Grandmama left you and Nando alone, and you didn't mind that.  
  
You did not know when you turned five and when Nando turned four. Grandmama did not mention birthdays and you didn't even know what month it was now because you didn't leave the apartment much.  
  
Grandmama seemed to like you better than Nando because you were better at staying out of her way, but she hated Nando.  
  
You tired to stop her from burning him, but she did it anyway, and then she burned you for trying to help him. And she said that she was going to call the monsters to come because you were such bad boys.  
  
You failed. You were supposed to protect your little brother and you didn't do it. You couldn't stop Grandmama from hurting him and you couldn't stop the monster from hurting him, and you knew it had hurt him very badly.  
  
Before the monster had left you, he whispered in your ear in a monster hiss "If you ever say a word to anyone, I'll come back. I'll kill your brother. No matter where you are, I'll find you."  
  
And very silently, you promised Mama and Papa in heaven that you'd make sure no one ever hurt Nando again. You'd do what you were told, you'd never say a word and maybe the monster would stay away.  
  
You liked it here with Dee and Ryo and now Bikky, and you were afraid that if you said anything the monster would hurt them too. You had the power to protect these new people you loved. You could keep the monster claws off of them.  
  
You knew that the monster would come back, because monsters were liars. You could only hope that by the time it did come back, you'd be big and strong like Papa was and could scare it away.  
  
Under the mattress on your side was kitchen knife you'd snuck into your room. You felt bad about that because you were not supposed to touch sharp knives, but you felt safer with the knife there. What you really wanted was a gun, but all of those were locked up now in Dee and Ryo's room, even Bikky's now.  
  
Sometimes at night you would slip out of bed and walk around the apartment with the knife, making sure no monsters were hiding in the shadows.  
  
You only got up to pee tonight, but you took the knife anyway, your hand not even able to go around the handle all the way. Ryo looked for that knife, and decided he must have thrown it away. It is not a small one.  
  
Before you go to return to bed you make your rounds quickly, hearing snoring coming from Dee and Ryo's room, and Bikky snoring in the living room.  
  
There are shadows against the window, cast by other buildings because you're too high up for trees here. Outside of the kitchen window is a fire escape. You know only to open it if there really is a fire because Dee and Ryo have alarms on all the windows and only they know how to turn them off.  
  
But there is something wrong with the shadows the fire escape is casting on the wall. It is too big, and it's moving too much. Your hand goes sweaty on the knife handle and your blood runs cold, and if you had not just been to the bathroom, you probably would have peed right there on the floor.  
  
Suddenly you feel very, very tiny and alone, and you want to run down the hall and yell for Ryo and Dee, make them come. But something else battles in you. Your pride is still torn to ribbons from your last fight. You are angry now. You are determined that you will protect Nando, and if you get hurt again, so what?  
  
You raise up the knife, watching the light flicker from the blade, watching the shadows twist into man-shape on the fire escape outside.  
  
His hands work at the window, and you watch, interested in spite of your fear, as he removes a small piece of glass and reaches in to unlock it. He pulls the window open.  
  
There is silence for a moment and then the alarm starts screaming. It's attached to the kitchen light and that comes on and you see his face.  
  
This is not a monster though. He is a man and he looks about Bikky's age. His eyes are very pale blue and his hair is red and buzz-cut. You do not know this man, but in the second the light comes on he looks stunned to see you standing there holding up the knife.  
  
He vanishes quickly back down the fire escape a second before Dee and Ryo run into the kitchen with their guns drawn. Nando is right behind them and Bikky has stumbled in from the living room.  
  
You're still holding the knife up, and you point at the window with your other hand.  
  
The alarm is still blaring and Nando is crying now but you can't even move to comfort him. You watch the window without blinking, staring out into the black of the New York night. Dee went out the window after him, but now he comes back in, angry that the man got away.  
  
Bikky moves to kneel in front of you, and you see understanding in eyes. He whispers "It's okay. He's gone now. You scared him away. Give me the knife. You don't it any more tonight."  
  
Slowly you hand it over to him, and it feels like you're handing your strength over to him as well. You stagger and he catches you, tossing the knife on top of the counter first. He's not well enough to pick you up yet, but you huddle on his lap, not even aware that like a toddler you're sucking your thumb again.  
  
Finally they shut off the alarm and other police have been called, and now Dee and Ryo are asking you questions you can't answer and you bury your head against Bikky's shoulder, because he doesn't want to know anything. He's just warm and solid and safe and you think that it's nice not to have to be the big brother now all the time. It's nice having a big brother of your own.  
  
"Was it the monster?" You are aware of Nando asking. "Was it him, Miguel?"  
  
You shake your head no, and he sags in relief.  
  
"Next time." Dee is saying firmly, and making you look at him. "If you hear noises you go wake up one of us. You're very brave, but you don't have to be brave with something like that. Let us big guys handle it. It's our job."  
  
Ryo says the same thing in different words, and he realizes that you were the one who took his knife and how long you've had it. He gives you a lecture on that as well, on how you've been told not to play with knives, and then he hugs you and says he's not mad, but something bad could have happened to you.  
  
You think about the man with the red hair, and wonder what he wanted. But since he was not the monster, you do not realize that in the instant the light came on, he saw exactly what he was after. 


	12. Part 12

Chiquitita 12/??  
  
Ryo knew that the image was going to stay with him a long time. The curtains blowing in the night air, the alarm blaring. Miguel standing there in the kitchen with his little hand wrapped around the handle of a huge knife, ready to defend his family alone if he had to.  
  
He didn't know what feeling was worse; that someone had tried to enter their apartment, or that Miguel still didn't trust them enough to realize that they'd always be around to protect him. That he'd put his own life in jeopardy because of that lack of trust. He felt like he was failing Miguel.  
  
"You're wrong."  
  
Ryo glanced over at Bikky, who had been listening to his discussion with Dee from the hideabed. Ryo had assumed he was asleep, but with Bikky it was never safe to assume anything.  
  
"Of course he's wrong." Dee agreed. "That kid's come miles since he's been with us. Ryo, it's been less than a month and he's already totally different than when he came here."  
  
"That's not exactly what I meant." Bikky put his arms behind his head. "Small fry wasn't out there with that knife because he didn't trust you. That's not what he was doing."  
  
"Has he said anything?" Ryo asked hopefully.  
  
"No. He doesn't have to though. I know anyway."  
  
"Care to enlighten us?" Dee asked.  
  
"I think it's because he's fed up." Bikky offered.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"He's had it with being a victim. He's not going to sit there and take it any more. He's going to fight back this time. Yeah, we know he's too little to take care of himself, but he doesn't see it that way any more than I did when I was a kid." His eyes flicked toward Dee. "Or you did. You understand too. You've been there. They can only push you so far, and no matter how stacked the odds are against you, no matter how small you are or how big they are, you have to stand up for yourself."  
  
"But if he trusted us, he wouldn't have to fight for himself." Ryo wasn't giving up his self-doubt that easily.  
  
"Ryo, I trust you. I trust you with my life. But that doesn't mean I'm going to depend on you to get me out of every scrape I run into."  
  
"You're not a kid any more though."  
  
Bikky shook his head sadly. "Ryo, maybe Miguel is only five, but he's not a kid either. He hasn't been a kid since his grandmother and whoever the monster is hurt him. Maybe someday he can be a kid again. But right now it's just too fresh in his mind. He's seen too much and been through too much. I'm not saying that I want him to go around attacking burglars with knives. I wish he had woken one of us up. I'm just telling you how Miguel sees it. You can't expect him to look at life like a normal five-year-old. Not yet."  
  
Seeing Ryo's disappointment he added gently "He will though. He's going to get back what they took from him. You're going to give him that. Just like you gave it back to me. Do you know what one of my best memories is?"  
  
"What?" Ryo was smiling again.  
  
"When I was twelve, and we drove up to Niagara Falls, the three of us. I was in the backseat, and you guys were up front talking. It was late at night, and I was half-asleep. I remember feeling completely and totally safe, that nothing in the world could ever touch me again. I wasn't hungry, and I was going to have a big soft motel bed soon, and I had my Gameboy in my pocket, and I was just a normal kid on a family vacation. It was like everything else got washed away. Miguel is going to have that too. You'll see."  
  
"Where have you been hiding this sentimental side?" Dee was amused. "I remember that trip. You got into a fight with some kid who made fun of your hair and almost threw him into the falls! Then you locked his dad's car keys in their car!"  
  
"They've never been able to prove that was me. They were just careless, that's all." He snickered. "How long do you think it took them to get the door open again? And are we going to talk about that white elephant standing over there, or are we going to keep ignoring it?"  
  
"I was hoping we could ignore it a little longer." Dee sighed. "But you're right. It's not going to go away."  
  
"Right now we have no proof that it wasn't random." Ryo added. "But after what the kids' grandmother said, we can't be sure that it was. We're going to get a record of her calls from the jail, see what we can turn up on that end. Maybe we'll get lucky. Or find out what visitors she's had. It's not a lot to go on but it's all we have at the moment. I wish we knew what Miguel saw."  
  
"Ask him." Bikky pointed. "He's out of bed again."  
  
The child was watching them from the doorway.  
  
"Hey buddy, it's okay." Dee picked him up. "Go back to sleep."  
  
Miguel reached over and tugged on Dee's hair, not hard. Thinking it was a game, Dee tugged back on his. Miguel gave him a frustrated look. He pointed at Dee's hair and then at a picture on the wall.  
  
"Okay then." Dee was totally bewildered.  
  
Miguel strugged to be let down, and looked around the room for a moment when Dee complied. He finally picked up one of Bikky's shirts and pointed at it while pulling on his hair, his eyes begging them to understand.  
  
Glancing at the picture and then at the shirt, Bikky did. "Red hair. The guy had red hair. Is that what you're saying?"  
  
Miguel broke into a huge grin and nodded. He crawled over the bed and pointed at Bikky's eyes.  
  
"Blue eyes?" Dee asked.  
  
Another happy nod.  
  
"Long or short hair?" Ryo wanted to know.  
  
Miguel held his fingers a little bit apart. Short.  
  
"Was he young like Bikky or older like us?"  
  
Miguel pointed to Bikky again without hesitation.  
  
"Could you tell if he was skinny or fat?"  
  
Miguel paused, and Ryo could tell he was trying to think of how to show them.  
  
"Fat?"  
  
No.  
  
"Skinny?"  
  
Yes.  
  
"I'll call it in." Dee was already heading for the phone. "Good job, Miguel!"  
  
"Thank you." Ryo pulled the boy onto his lap. "You've been a big help. But you still should have gotten an adult, understand?"  
  
Miguel nodded with obvious reluctance, and Ryo recognized the look as one Bikky had patented. "I'm going to say what you want me to say, but forget it two minutes later." He wrapped his fingers around Ryo's and before Dee returned he was sound asleep.  
  
Ryo returned him to his own room and tucked him in next to Nando, who rolled over and put an arm around him without even waking up. He watched them for a few minutes, his heart full, and then returned to the living room.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"Where is everyone?" Cal sat down a paper bag and looked around the apartment.  
  
"The kids had a doctors' appointment." Bikky explained. "I was able to convince the guys I'd be okay here alone for a little while. But I'm glad I don't have to be." He flopped back down on the bed and motioned for Cal to sit next to him. "I've been pigging out on grown-up TV. Do you know how much I missed on 'Starlight Cove'? Turns out that Natalia may be the daughter of Reginald, and he's Dustin's dad. They might be brother and sister."  
  
"Yuck." Cal shook her head in exasperation and kissed him. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Lots better. As long as I don't try and lift anything big or walk too fast." He pointed a red scar on his forehead. "See, they finally took out my other stitches. Nando says I look like Frankenstein's Monster."  
  
"You look great." She pronounced. "Like always." It was true. With his contrast of light and dark, he was one of the most strikingly handsome men she had ever known. It went beyond the physical; there was something in the set of his jaw and how he walked, a cockiness he'd never outgrown.  
  
"I've had lots of time to think." Bikky began. "Nothing much else to do. I've decided that I'm not going to waste any more time." He turned off the TV and faced her. "I know that I don't have a ring to give you, but you've got my heart instead. I've been in love with you since I was a kid." He put his hands on top of hers. "I'm making it official. I'm asking you to marry me. Right away. We can do a little ceremony now and later when we have more money we can have a huge one."  
  
"Bikky."  
  
"Maybe when our first kid is old enough to be a flower girl or a ring- bearer. We'll renew our vows then. Hey, maybe we'll have two kids by then, one of each. But right now we can get by on bare bones, I think. It's the love that's important right?"  
  
Cal looked away from him. "Bikky, I do love you. You know that. I always have and I always will. But I think we need to wait a while before we take that kind of step."  
  
"Why?" He demanded, angry now. "God, not this again. I thought you said you understood. You told me the night I got hurt you wanted to work it out!"  
  
"I do!" She shot back. "But you're making all these plans for both of us. And maybe my plans are different."  
  
"Okay, then tell me what your plans are." He threw up his hands. "I'm not a mind reader. Tell me what exactly it is that you want."  
  
"I know I don't want kids." She blurted it out, and his face fell. "I want to keep on helping the kids that are already here, not take care of my own. I know you do so I've never said anything, but I've never wanted my own kids. That's your dream, not mine."  
  
"Okay." He said after a moment. "Okay. I'm not going to say I'm happy with it, but I love you. If giving up kids is what it takes to get you to say yes, then I can live with it." He brightened. "We can take in foster kids. We can give kids like Nando and Miguel a home. Why have our own when there's already kids out there no one wants?"  
  
"Bikky, you're just not getting it." She closed her eyes. "I'm not going to have the time to dedicate to being anyone's mother, no matter who gave birth to them. I'm constantly on call; I work 18 and 20 hour days sometimes. How would that be good for a child?"  
  
"Okay, okay. No real kids. No foster kids. Can we at least get a cat? Or are you worried about it feeling neglected too?"  
  
"See, this is why I didn't want to discuss this with you. You're getting all upset, and it's not good for you."  
  
"Why don't you just say it then?" He spat. "Say that you don't want to marry me. Quit using excuses. I can take it."  
  
"I do want to marry you, but not yet. We'd be setting ourselves up to fail." She tried to touch his hand again and he pulled back. "Could you be happy with a wife you hardly ever saw?" She asked him very gently. "How long would it be before you resented it too much to stick around?"  
  
"We can compromise." He offered. "I won't mention kids, and won't complain if you work a more normal shift. Or something like ten hours a day."  
  
"I can't do that." She argued. "What I do is too important."  
  
"Even GOD took a day off."  
  
"Well, good for him. If he hadn't, maybe some of these kids wouldn't be in such sorry shape right now and I wouldn't be the one trying to save their lives. You see? If we married now we'd be fighting like this every single day. That's not what either one of us wants or needs."  
  
"You're right. It's not." She'd never heard his voice that cold before. "But I do appreciate you being honest with me. There's nothing left for us to say, is there."  
  
"So you're telling me it's over?" Her voice tightened.  
  
He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. "Have a good life, Cal. I hope your cases are enough to keep you warm at night. I'll always love you. Just be happy. All I ask."  
  
She tried to speak but couldn't. Crawling off the bed she stumbled toward the door, which opened before she could reach it.  
  
"Hey, Cal." Dee started, and she pushed past him, running as she hit the hall.  
  
"Bikky?" Ryo was bewildered. "What happened? What's wrong with Cal?"  
  
"She was crying." Nando noted. "Why was she crying?"  
  
"Nando, why don't you and Miguel go play in your room so we can talk to Bikky?" Dee asked. "Go on."  
  
When they heard the bedroom door click shut Dee sat down on the hideabed. "Spill your guts. What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing is going on." Bikky said bitterly. "Nothing at all. No girlfriend, no engagement, no wedding. No kids. Definitely no kids. I'm absolutely horrible for wanting kids, did you know that?"  
  
"Oh Bikky." Ryo put his arm around the young man. "I'm sure you can work this out."  
  
"No. Not this time." Bikky shook his head. "It's over. We've been keeping it on life support for a long time but sooner or later you've gotta pull the plug. She wants her life to revolve around her job. I can't be happy with just a few minutes a day here and there and that's all she's willing to give me. This way. she doesn't have to feel guilty any more about it."  
  
"Do you want us to talk to her? She'll listen to us, I know she will."  
  
"No." He said firmly. "Ryo, you can't fix this. Please don't try. It's between her and I." He began to blink hard. "I'm going to be a man and let her go. I am not going to cry."  
  
"We've been here before." Ryo reminded him. "I don't mind if you cry."  
  
All his pain and frustration welled up in him at once, and leaning again Ryo he finally allowed his heart to break. 


	13. Part 13

Chiquitita 13  
  
The full details of the biggest fight Dee and Ryo had ever had were never 100% clear to Bikky.  
  
It had something to do with a case they were working, he knew that much. Dee had said something or done something that had set them back, and Ryo had been furious about it. Dee of course felt that he was the wounded party and that Ryo was both overreacting and that his own method of handling the case had been less than stellar. Their boss had given them both written reprimands when it was over.  
  
It had snowballed into a huge screaming match, with the new neighbor Mrs. Wade banging on the door and telling a 14-year-old Bikky she was going to call the cops. "Sorry, lady, they are the cops." Bikky shrugged. "Maybe we'll both get lucky and they'll shoot each other." He hadn't meant it of course, but he thought they were both behaving like dimwits.  
  
The fight had ended when Dee stormed past Bikky with a dufflebag stuffed with clothing, not even speaking to the boy as he slammed out of the apartment.  
  
Ryo flatly refused to discuss the situation with Bikky all, at one point even losing his temper enough to tell him that it was none of his business.  
  
It was though. Dee had lived with them for two years by that point, and the apartment felt incomplete without him. It was still during the brief period they'd gotten along, and there were things he could talk to Dee about that Ryo would never understand. He could listen and he could try and relate, but it was never the same.  
  
He waited, thinking that Dee would return on his own in a few days, full of apologies and flowers and other junk that Ryo liked, but when he didn't the boy decided it was time to take matters into his own hands.  
  
He'd snuck down to the station to confront the man there, only to learn that Dee had taken a short leave of absence and hadn't been at work for a week either. Ryo's boss was fit to be tied, giving Bikky all sorts of colorful threats to pass long to Dee if and when he surfaced.  
  
Meanwhile, at home Ryo was a zombie. He spent most of his time staring at the wall and drumming his fingers, lost in his own misery. He went to work, and Bikky figured that was only because he assumed Dee would have to show his face eventually.  
  
Bikky tried the orphanage next, going to talk to the woman Dee called Penguin. The old nun hadn't seen or heard from Dee either, but she was sure he'd show up. "He always ran away from here when he got mad at Jess or I." She remembered. "He as gone as long as a month once. But he always came back on his own sooner or later. Dee just doesn't have it in him to give up on the people he loves. He's proud, but he's not stupid."  
  
Not being one to give up easily himself, the boy began calling all the cheap motels in the area to see if Dee was registered there. He hit pay dirt with the fifth one, the Slide-On Inn, and after getting Dee's room- number he'd skipped school and went there instead. Dee's car was parked outside but the man himself was missing. Bikky assumed he was probably at one of the numerous bars scattered around the area. He picked the lock quickly and went into the room to wait for Dee's return. Just for a lark he'd called the front desk and asked for room service, and been told by the pissed off clerk that the only thing he was likely to get delivered to his room around here would cost him 25 bucks an hour.  
  
"I've got five bucks. Do you have any really short ones?" Bikky wanted to know. "You know, like sample size? Or ones with no legs?"  
  
/click/  
  
It was several hours before a drunk and very sour-smelling cop had made his way back to the room and discovered the intruder.  
  
If Dee remembered their conversation later he never mentioned it. Bikky, at the time, had been hoping that Dee was too intoxicated to remember anything and taken a chance on that. He'd spilled his guts in that motel room, been completely honest with Dee and himself. He talked about losing two parents already, and not being willing to give up another one without a fight. About what it meant to him to have a real family to come home to after school. He talked about how miserable and lonely Ryo had been without him, how worried they'd both been, and he'd managed to keep himself from crying.  
  
Dee was the one who burst into tears when Bikky was done, and began a long litany of self-abuse, revealing an inner core of doubt and uncertainly that took the boy completely by surprise. When finished verbally castrating himself, he'd passed out.  
  
Bikky waited, watching the motel TV, until finally just before dark Dee had woken up, sober and hung-over and extremely confused. However, he accepted Bikky's orders to shower, shave, and change very docilely, checked out of the room, and intended to drive them both back to their apartment.  
  
In the meantime, the school had called Ryo wondering where Bikky was. Ryo, having assumed he'd probably lost Dee for good, wasn't about to lose Bikky too. He'd put out an APB on the boy.  
  
One of the guests at the motel had a police scanner and heard the report. Bikky wasn't too difficult to recognize once spotted so he'd immediately called the cops, reporting seeing the missing boy leaving the Slide-On Inn in the company of an adult male.  
  
If Ryo had been thinking clearly, he would have immediately reached the correct assumption that Bikky had managed to overturn the rock Dee had crawled under to hide. Instead he really became frantic, convinced that either some pervert had kidnapped the boy, or that Bikky had decided his allowance was insufficient and was turning tricks in his spare time.  
  
Halfway back to the apartment, cops from another precinct pulled over the car, ignored both their explanations and Dee's badge, and hauled them both down to the station. It hadn't helped their case that Dee had had a full bag of clothing on the seat between them, looking like they were planning to skip town. It really hadn't helped that Dee starting crying again and calling himself the worst parent who ever lived. Tired and hungry and fed up, Bikky was inclined to agree.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Ryo had arrived and gotten everything sorted out. Dee was one of Bikky's legal guardians ("We TOLD them that." Bikky had interrupted angrily) and hadn't kidnapped anyone, and he'd deal with Bikky's truancy himself.  
  
"Ryo, do the words overreacting mean anything to you?" Bikky had asked when they reached Ryo's car, Dee trailing behind them.  
  
Ryo had immediately snapped into the typical parental lecture of how worried he'd been, and how irresponsible and thoughtless Bikky had been, and how he could have at least CALLED to let him know where he was and that he was all right. Even though he was looking at Bikky, the boy got a sense that he was directing his rant at Dee as well.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry." Bikky threw up his hands. "But I found him for you. Yell at him, kiss him, do other stuff I don't want to hear about. Can we all please just go home first?"  
  
And just as quickly as it began it was over and things were back to as normal as they could be. Ryo snapped out of his trance and Dee was back to burning toast and leaving wet towels in the middle of the bathroom floor. Cal had called it a "testament to the power of true love, that it can overcome anything."  
  
It was a shock to realize it had been ten years since that crazy day he'd tracked down Dee. He'd scoffed at Cal's comment then, saying that true love had needed a lot of help from him to get them back on track, but inside of himself he'd believed her. He knew, somehow, that nothing could ever keep his two lunatics apart for good. And if people with as many issues as them could keep their love alive, then life with Cal would be a piece of cake.  
  
Yeah, he decided now bitterly. But someone licked off all the frosting and stepped on it first.  
  
He knew that Dee and Ryo thought this was going to just pass in time, like their own problems had. He also knew that in spite of his direct mandate to leave it alone they were bound to try and "help" and probably make it worse in the process, if such a thing were possible.  
  
Bikky figured that between getting stabbed and losing the love of his life in the span of a few weeks, not to mention having another wacko try and break into the apartment, he was entitled to at least a few days of mindless self-pity. At least the hole in his side gave him an excuse to put off beginning a new, single life a bit longer.  
  
"You just wait, Cortland. Dustin is on to you. He knows you started that fire, dumbass."  
  
Dee glanced up from the computer as Bikky stalked by like a caged blond panther, muttering under his breath.  
  
"Anything I can do?" He called after him. Email Cal, give you a hug, call Dr. Phil? He added silently.  
  
"Nothing comes to mind." Bikky called back, and Dee could hear him rattling around in the refrigerator. "Except tell me why we having nothing to eat around here."  
  
"Probably because you ate it all." Dee pointed out helpfully. With the gradual return of Bikky's strength his appetite had roared back as well. And of course eating gave him something to do besides facing the issues at hand.  
  
They were keeping a close eye on him, and not just out of worry for his injury. Breaking up with Cal had definitely done a number on him mentally as well and he was not all together rational right now.  
  
Knowing what drugs had done to his father, Bikky had never been tempted use or abuse them himself. So when the other night he had taken a double dose of his medication, they knew it had been an accident. Even if he was injured, though, he was still bigger than both of them. It had taken a combined effort to get the rollerblades away from him and force him back into bed as he kept giggling and talking about the Macy's Parade of all things. Dee had secretly turned on the camcorder, figuring the tape would be terrific footage if the need for blackmail ever arose, which with Bikky it seemed to do with a startling regularity.  
  
"There's nothing I can say to him." Cal had protested on the phone. "He's made up his mind and that's it. I'm not going to go there and throw myself at him." She paused. "Can you send me a copy of that tape, though?"  
  
"How about we go out and grab some lunch?" Dee finally suggested. "You need some fresh air."  
  
So did he, as a matter of fact.  
  
After some discussion and a quick assessment of their finances, both he and Ryo had taken Family Leave from work for a while. Rosa wasn't up to babysitting again yet and they didn't think the boys would be comfortable with a stranger, and they both wanted to be on hand to take care of Bikky. They'd been told by their new chief, Henry Sampson, that Bikky was no relation to them, no longer their foster child, and their request was denied.  
  
"FLMA lets you take up to six weeks after you have a new kid, adopt a new kid, or take in a foster kid. We have two foster children living with us right now." Dee said calmly.  
  
"Request denied. What, are you going to sue me? Am I discriminating against your 'alternative family', Latner?" Samson asked, smirking.  
  
Dee had never expected to feel nostalgia for the old Chief, but he did now. As surly as the man had been, he hadn't been unfair. Their new one was from Chicago, and had made it very clear he didn't like either one of them, and would have in fact split them up on the job if he had anyone else to partner them with.  
  
"It's like this." Ryo shrugged. "We intend to take care of our boys. Either you let us do it at home, or we bring all three of them here. Miguel communicates in gestures, Nando will probably stow away in a squad car, and I'm sure that Special Agent Goldman will find some way to amuse himself."  
  
It was a known fact that Sampson hated the FBI with a passion. It was rumored that he'd washed out of the academy twice, and had been told bluntly not to come back a third time. He was a perfect example of the Peter Principle. He'd risen to his level of incompetence and he would go no further. Fortunately for them, he was also far too stupid to ever come up with any good plans to give them grief. He was as lousy at being a bully as he was at everything else.  
  
He knew that he could legally prevent Ryo and Dee from giving their brats free reign of the station. He also knew that legally they had right to take the leave with or without his permission. He had nothing to gain in delaying signing the forms. After all, it meant he wouldn't have to look at either of them for a while. Maybe they'd both get the urge to be full-time housewives and he'd never have to see them again.  
  
He reached for his pen.  
  
A career cop, Dee wasn't used to sitting on his laurels any more than Bikky was, and he understood the younger man's restlessness. Ryo had taken the kids to see Denise, and the walls were closing in on both of them.  
  
"Gee, you mean I'm allowed to go out the front door?" Bikky asked. "Are you sure Ryo hasn't set up an invisible fence or something?"  
  
"It wouldn't surprise me. Get the lead out, wiseguy, before he gets home and chains you to the wall."  
  
At least three neighbors stopped them on the way down in the elevator and in the hall to ask how Bikky was feeling, and he felt himself blushing to see a newspaper clipping of the mugging story up on the bulletin board with his name circled in red ink. He started to rip it down but Dee stopped him. "When people see that, they see proof that someone in the world still gives enough of a damn to try and do what's right. Let 'em hero worship for a while. Two weeks from now it'll be covered up by a reminder not to leave your clothing in the dryer overnight and another flier about Mrs. Fletcher's missing cat."  
  
Mubby Fletcher had been AWOL for the better part of three years now, but Mrs. Fletcher wasn't one to surrender hope lightly. She'd given Bikky the tongue-lashing of his life when he'd tried to gently inform her that the FBI, stretched to its limits already, simply could not afford to assign a team of agents dedicated to bringing Mubby home.  
  
Bikky was quiet during the car ride, and in Papa Leon's Pizza place, lost in his own gloom, but he did help Dee polish off an extra-large with everything. He was finishing his last piece when it dawned on him for the first time that he and Dee always ended up at Papa Leon's when he was upset about something. Ryo refused to set foot in the place, and had made some rather nasty comments as to how Mubby had probably ended up as a discount topping.  
  
As he grabbed a remaining piece of sausage (or whatever it really was), he became aware that someone was watching him. Just a tingling of the flesh on his arms, and a general feeling of unease. He glanced up to see if Dee had noticed, but at the moment the other man's cellphone began to beep, and everyone in the pizza place was staring at their table in disapproval.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Yes, Ryo, we're both fine. We just went out for lunch."  
  
"I said lunch, not to climb Mt. Everest. We'll be home soon."  
  
"Yes, as a matter of fact that is where we are. Want us to bring you home something?"  
  
"It was a joke!"  
  
Bikky was surprised to find himself smiling, and he leaned back closing his eyes. It was nice to be out of the apartment, nice to be here in this cheap plastic booth with a full stomach, the air thick with the smells of oregano and tomato sauce and cigarette smoke.  
  
Someone was watching him again.  
  
People told him all the time he was handsome, exotic-looking. He supposed it was nicer than saying he looked like a freak, but he was used to attracting attention, good and bad.  
  
He opened his eyes and took a quick scan of the other patrons.  
  
Two women with a toddler in a high chair, happily painting himself in tomato sauce. A group of teenagers who didn't look old enough to not be in school, unless it was a holiday he was unaware of. A young, well-dressed woman complaining to a waitress that the sausage tasted 'funny'. A bald man reading the Wall Street Journal. Four businessmen speaking rapidly in Japanese. Other people with no distinction at all.  
  
The bald man's eyes flicked up from the paper at that moment, and locked with Bikky's. They were black, like Ryo's, framing either side of a nose that appeared fall to small for his broad features. He was big across his chest and shoulders, the look of a man who had once been in prime physical condition but no longer could be bothered to maintain it.  
  
Never glancing away, man winked at Bikky and ran the tip of his tongue across his lips. Flushing in embarrassment, Bikky quickly back at his plate.  
  
"Bik, I know you're going through a rough time right now." Dee said gently. "But don't you think this is just a little, well, drastic? I really don't think he's your type."  
  
"Shut up." Bikky muttered. "He's creepy. He's been staring at me for the last 10 minutes."  
  
"Well, time to break his heart." Dee grabbed up the check. "Come on. We better get back home." He gave the man, who was reading his paper again, an uneasy look. His instincts were half cop, half street urchin, and the man was definitely giving off some very bad vibes. Definitely not the ones emitted by a lonely, innocent flirt.  
  
"You okay?" Dee asked when they were back at the car. Bikky frowned.  
  
"Why wouldn't I be? He's just some old perv. God, you're getting as bad as Ryo."  
  
Nevertheless, he kept glancing back in the rearview mirror, looking to see if the stranger was following them. Ashamed at himself for his nervousness, but unable to shake it off completely. 


	14. Part 14

The problem with playing any game with Fernando was that he had, as their father put it, the attention span of a puppy. Anything could and did distract him; a patch of sunlight, a beetle on the ground, a weird-shaped cloud. And then without even thinking he'd wander away from his task, leaving his frustrated brother to either coax him back or find something else to do.  
  
They were in the backyard by themselves this morning; their father had already left for work and their mother was inside the house finishing up the last of the breakfast dishes. Fernando had sulked when he hadn't been allowed to help, and Mama had ordered both boys outside, promising to join them in a few minutes. The backyard was surrounded by a high chain-line fence, and she had no fear about letting them play alone for a little while.  
  
To Miguel, the backyard was as close to paradise as one could get. There was lots of grass to roll around in, Mama's garden, a tire swing hanging from the big oak tree. That tree held the promise of a treehouse in the future, as soon as they were big enough. Papa said maybe when they were 7 and 8; Mama said when they were 29 and 30.  
  
One corner of the yard was full of holes, where the boys were allowed to dig to their hearts content. They'd never gotten as far as China (Miguel wasn't sure exactly how far that was) but he wasn't in any hurry. He didn't really like Chinese food. And Fernando was much more interested in the various rocks and worms they unearthed in their efforts.  
  
Today, Miguel had managed to get Nando interested in kicking a red rubber ball back and forth. At three, Nando's coordination was still iffy at best. He missed the ball more than he hit it, and ended up flat on his butt usually, but he still gamely got up each time laughing to try again.  
  
Finally Miguel signaled a halt. "I'm going inside to pee. I'll be right back."  
  
Nando nodded, bending down to examine a rock, and Miguel jogged up the steps and into the cool kitchen.  
  
On his way back out, he passed by his mother, who was on the phone with someone. She blew him a kiss and he blew it back, grinning as she mussed up his hair. She was wearing old jeans and one of his father's white tee- shirts, which was way too big on her. Unlike his friends' mothers, he couldn't recall ever seeing her dressed up and fancy-looking, and he was glad of that. He wouldn't want a Mama who was afraid of rolling around in the mud. What fun would she be?  
  
When he got outside, he glanced around for Nando, but at first he didn't see his little brother anywhere. He frowned, studying the patches of tomatoes to see if Nando was hiding in there, and then the sound of voices made him look toward the fence.  
  
Nando was standing there, the rubber ball near his feet, talking to a man on the other side of the fence. The man was smiling down at him, and Nando was gesturing with his small hands excitedly.  
  
Miguel started toward them, and the man glanced up at him, still smiling. The sun hit the top of his bald head, and his eyes were black as midnight. Although the morning was warm, he was wearing a blue sweater, and his hands were long and delicate.  
  
The little boy couldn't say exactly what it was about the man, but suddenly he was terrified. He began to run toward his brother.  
  
"This is Miguel." Nando was saying to his new friend. "He's my big brother. Do you have a brother?"  
  
"Nando, no talking to strangers!" Miguel scolded, not even speaking to the man. He took his brother's hand. "Come on."  
  
"Miguel, you are rude! He's not a stranger, he told me his name!" Nando dug his feet into the ground stubbornly. "His name is Silvio."  
  
Miguel began tugging on Nando again. "Come away, Nando. Now!"  
  
"NANDO!"  
  
The scream came from behind them and suddenly before he knew it his mother was there, thrusting himself and Nando behind her. What he could see of her back was trembling, and suddenly his fear increased a hundred fold. He grabbed Nando's hand and held it tightly.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" His mother's voice was low and furious.  
  
"Do I need a reason to come and visit my sister?" The man asked. "And look at my beautiful nephews? It's been five years since we saw each other. Is this a way to greet me?"  
  
"Get out!" Miguel's mother hissed. "You're not welcome here! Don't you ever come near my children!"  
  
Silvio laughed. "You still have a temper, little sister. How fierce you look now; a mama lion and her little cubs. They favor you, you know. Especially Nando. I think Nando and I should be friends."  
  
"I'll see you dead first." Miguel's mother vowed.  
  
Her brother stepped away from the fence. "You're making a mistake, denying them their grandmother, denying them their uncle. Someday they'll hate you for it."  
  
"GET OUT!" Miguel's mother screamed, startling both boys. Miguel noticed that Nando was sucking his thumb, tears running down his cheeks. He silently put his arm around the other boy.  
  
Silvio walked away, whistling, and for a long time after he was gone Miguel's mother stood there, her head bowed, still trembling.  
  
"Mama?" Miguel tugged on her shirt. "Are you okay?"  
  
His mother knelt down and grabbed both of them, squeezing them tightly and brushing away Nando's tears. "I'm okay. It's okay now. He's gone."  
  
"But Mama, he was nice." Nando offered shakily.  
  
"No." His mother shook her head firmly. "He's a very bad man. He pretends to be nice, but he's not. Never, ever go near him again. If you see him, you have to run and tell me or Papa right away. Don't ever get close enough to let him touch you. Promise me, Nando."  
  
"I promise." Nando looked confused. "Why is he a bad man?"  
  
His mother bit her lip. "He hurt some little boys and girls. He's been in jail for a long time for that. He was hurting little boys and girls for a long time before they caught him. I have to make sure he doesn't hurt you too."  
  
Miguel suddenly knew, in spite of his age, and without being told, that this Silvio had once hurt his mother. He'd hurt her badly. His heart filled with pure hatred. "Is he your brother?"  
  
She hestitated and gave one quick nod. "But not all brothers are good. Come on, I don't want to think about him any more. Get dressed and we'll go to the mall."  
  
"Dipping Dots!" Fernando cheered, trauma immediately forgotten. "Please, Mama?"  
  
"Dipping Dots and big fat pretzels." Their mother promised cheerfully, but Miguel could tell it was faked. He reached up and took her hand, not knowing what else to do, and the three of them walked back toward the house.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"I guess he's okay." Ryo frowned as he looked Bikky up and down. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Bikky flopped down on the couch dramatically and threw his right arm up over his head. "Butch. it's all. going black. Tell.Ma..I love her..tell Sue..sorry I can't.marry her.tell Fido. go on the paper. Go.on the.papeerrrr."  
  
"Very funny." Ryo smacked his foot.  
  
Dee rolled his neck, laughing. "Where are Flotsam and Jetsam?"  
  
"In their room."  
  
"How did it go with Denise?"  
  
"She's still on this kick about putting Miguel into a residential treatment center, but the good news is I don't think she's going to do anything to hold off on our adoption of them." Ryo stared at the wall. "You know, I wonder if maybe she's right sometimes. What if we don't allow Miguel to be treated, and he never gets better? What if he never talks again?"  
  
"He will, baby. He's almost there." Dee hugged him. "We just need a little more time with him. They're not sending him anywhere! He'll wither and die in some institution. He needs us. Damn it, I need him."  
  
Nando slipped back from the doorway and went back to his bedroom, where Miguel was sitting at the desk coloring.  
  
"Miguel, you have to start talking now!" Nando hissed. "Denise thinks you should be locked up because you don't!"  
  
Miguel shook his head no firmly.  
  
"Miguel, what if they make you go away from me?" Nando's voice caught. "What if they take you away and I never see you again?"  
  
Miguel shook his head no again, squeezing Nando's hand.  
  
"Please, Miguel. Please talk. Just for me. Just one word?"  
  
Miguel gave him a look that shattered his heart, and went back to drawing.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
"My Mama will not be happy with me, but I couldn't just stay there any longer. I stuck out while she was busy." Rosa grinned at Bikky, who sat on the steps next to her. "Any minute now she'll show up here, telling me to get back to bed."  
  
"I hear you. Took me forever to convince Dee and Ryo that I'd be okay looking after the kids for an hour while they went to the store. Hey, Nando, get back over here!" Bikky yelled. "Where do you think you're going?"  
  
Nando strolled back over to the steps, where Miguel was playing with toy cars. "France?" He asked hopefully, and Rosa began to sputter.  
  
"Stay close." Bikky scolded. "We're not strong enough to go running after you."  
  
"Sometimes." Nando sighed. "You are very much like Ryo."  
  
Rosa snickered again.  
  
"Yeah, well get used to it." Bikky gave him a mock scowl. "No little brother of mine is getting hit by a taxi."  
  
The boy sat down and began racing his car around Miguel's. "You'll be a good father." Rosa whispered. "Some child will be very lucky to call you his Papa."  
  
Bikky glanced down at the boys. "Scary thought, but. I want it. I want to be a Dad. I want little guys like this so bad sometimes. maybe I want to prove that I can be better than my old man was. Pretty horrible reason for having kids, huh?"  
  
"No, a very noble reason." Rosa corrected him. "People tell me, there's no hurry. You have the rest of your life to be a Mama. But if a baby were dropped into my arms tomorrow, I wouldn't mind. I think I'm ready for it."  
  
She shifted closer, her fingers grazing his, and he reached out to cup her chin. Their lips brushed together.  
  
"WELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A KID RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT!" Someone yelled from a window above them.  
  
They pulled away, and Bikky started to make an obscene gesture, then remembered the boys. "Eat your heart out!" was the best he could come up with instead, and the man's head vanished back inside his own apartment.  
  
"What's that mean?" Nando asked.  
  
"It means that he's just jealous because I've got a pretty lady here to kiss and he doesn't." Bikky explained.  
  
Rosa was blushing, but her hand was now wrapped in Bikky's.  
  
"New York. What are you going to do?" The young man asked.  
  
"I want to go to the park." Nando interrupted. "That's what I want to do." His brother nodded, getting to his feet.  
  
"Okay, but just for a little while." Bikky decided. "You up to it, Rosa?"  
  
"With my favorite men? Always. Maybe I should take the rollerblades, so I can have you catch me again." She winked.  
  
Bikky nearly blushed himself. Tonight, he and Rosa would have to talk about this, figure out where if anywhere it might be headed. But for now, he was tired of thinking. He was tired of analyzing the feelings of everyone around him. He just wanted to relax and have fun.  
  
They walked down the street together, and people smiled as they passed by. People probably thought that they were married, and that the little boys walking in front of them were their own sons, Bikky realized. It was a warm feeling, a sense of belong to something, and he allowed himself to get lost in the fantasy as well.  
  
Rosa was his wife, and Miguel and Nando were their children. No one had ever hurt them, and they were safe and happy. He and Rosa were even talking about trying for a daughter, because they both wanted the experience of raising a little girl. He imagined Dee and Ryo constantly butting in, giving him advice he didn't ask for, and spoiling their young grandchildren rotten. They'd all spend holidays together; his small unconventional family and Rosa's large traditional one, and Norman Rockwell could just sit on his thumb and rotate if he had any problems with it.  
  
"Hot dogs!" Nando pointed at a vender. "I want a hot dog, Bikky."  
  
"I think I can do that. Miguel, you want one too, buddy?" Bikky asked, rejoining reality for a moment, almost startled by the fact that Nando had called him Bikky instead of 'Daddy'.  
  
The child shook his head no and made a face. For good measure, he made a vomiting motion.  
  
"I agree with him." Rosa smiled. "None for me either."  
  
"Fine, more for Nando and I." Bikky took the boy's hand and walked over toward the cart, which already had a crowd of people around it. They vanished into the swirl.  
  
Rosa glanced down at Miguel. "I really like Bikky. Do you know that?"  
  
Miguel nodded, and patted her hand.  
  
"Someday, maybe Bikky and I, we'll have little boys just like you and Nando. We'll all be part of one family."  
  
Miguel nodded again, grinning.  
  
"But first. where IS he?" The crowd had thinned, and Bikky and Nando were no where in sight.  
  
Miguel bit his lip, glancing worriedly down the street. Nando had probably seen pigeons or something and had run off after them, and Bikky hadn't had time to tell them before he followed.  
  
Rosa's grip tightened instinctively on Miguel's hand. She had the same cold feeling of dread she'd felt on the night that she'd been attacked. "Bikky?" She called out. "Fernando?"  
  
Miguel suddenly jerked her hand so hard she almost fell, and began to run forward, dragging her behind him. She saw he was making a bee-line for a white Ford Focus, which gunned to life and began to roll down the street. Horrified, she saw Nando's pale, tear-stained face against the rear window, his fists beating against the glass helplessly. Next to him, she could see Bikky, slumped over forward.  
  
"STOP! HELP!" She screamed, picking up Miguel. "SOMEONE STOP THEM!"  
  
But the car rounded the corner, and vanished. 


End file.
